


Left Behind

by buckminsterbarnes



Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Badass Lin Beifong, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Happy Ending, F/F, F/M, Hurt Mako (Avatar), Hurt/Comfort, I will give Mako the characterization he DESERVES, Lightningbending & Lightningbenders (Avatar), Mako Needs a Hug, Mako is not okay, Mako makes some poor life decisions, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Mental Institutions, Panic Attacks, Permanent Injury, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Trauma, Scars, Tags May Change, hurt mako, lin beifong adopts mako, there's a lot of angst okay, this is going to be a rollercoaster of emotions
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-13
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:14:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 13
Words: 25,663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26995747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buckminsterbarnes/pseuds/buckminsterbarnes
Summary: The world was saved, once again.And once again, it seems like Mako's been left behind.Korra and Asami are enjoying life together, Bolin is on diplomatic mission after diplomatic mission with Opal, and Mako? He's working himself thin at the police department yet again.When Beifong realizes that her best detective is on the brink of a meltdown, she suspends him until he gets his shit together. But did sending him home only accelerate his massive breakdown?(Aka I'm upset that the writers completely forgot about Mako in Book 4. He's suffered a severely traumatic injury, and he's really not as okay as he seems)
Relationships: Bolin & Korra & Mako & Asami Sato, Bolin & Mako (Avatar), Bolin/Opal (Avatar), Korra & Mako (Avatar), Korra/Asami Sato, Lin Beifong & Mako, Mako & Asami Sato
Comments: 98
Kudos: 147





	1. Chapter 1

Mako could feel the blood running down his chin as he lifted his head silently. He was _not_ about to fuck this up for himself. With shaking legs, he picked himself off the ground and forced the motorcycle back to a standing position. His head throbbed as he tried to steady his breathing and swing his leg over the side of his bike. 

"Mako!" He heard a distant call, but it sounded like he was underwater. "Mako!" The voice called again, but more distinctly this time around. Mako swallowed hard. That wasn't just any voice angrily shouting his name. That was _Chief Beifong's_ angry voice shouting his name. 

Begging his body to move faster, he forced his leg to mount the motorcycle and revved it. He wasn't going to let them get away. 

A thin piece of metal wrapped around his wrist. 

Fuck.

It tore his grip from the handlebar and he felt himself teetering, trying desperately to maintain his balance.

"Just what the fuck do you think you're doing?" Beifong snarled at him, drawing her metal whip back and guiding Mako off the motorcycle.

"Oh, hey Chief," Mako chuckled, his voice cracking.

"Don't you 'Hey Chief' me," Beifong's words bit at the young detective as he felt his eyelids growing heavy. "Mako?" She asked, and if Mako didn't know any better, he would've sworn that her voice had an edge of concern to it. "Eyes on me, Detective!" She commanded, but Mako couldn't help but succumb to the world of unconsciousness.

*

"You're an idiot."

Mako's eyes cracked open to the bright lights of the infirmary. 

"A real idiot." Beifong growled, and Mako shut his eyes quickly again. "I know you're awake." She grumbled, and the young firebender reluctantly opened his eyes again.

"Oh, hey Chief," Mako blushed, smiling awkwardly at the glaring Chief of Police. 

"Mind telling me just what the hell you were thinking back there?" Beifong folded her arms across her chest, standing over Mako's bedside emanating pure fury.

"Trying to catch the bad guy," Mako mumbled as he felt his vision swimming again. His head was beginning to throb. "Did we get em?"

"The only thing we 'got' was you in a motorcycle crash," Beifong scoffed, and Mako sunk further into the white sheets. "You didn't wait for backup. That was reckless and stupid." She scolded him, her voice growing sharper and sharper with each word.

Mako stared wordlessly at the sheets folded neatly on his lap, taking a silent catalog of his injuries. Nothing seemed to be broken or out of place, but judging by the pounding in his head he was going to have a helluva headache for a couple of days.

"Are you even listening to me?" Beifong demanded, and Mako jumped, jostling his bruised ribs painfully. He winced in pain and Beifong's gaze softened.

"Sorry, Chief." Mako hardened his resolve. "I'll take desk duty seriously this time, I swear--"

"There won't _be_ desk duty this time, Mako." Mako's hurt and confused look made even Beifong start to feel sorry for him. She quickly regained her composure and clasped her hands behind her back. "You're on suspension until further notice, Detective." She said harshly and could practically hear the kid's heart shattering into a million pieces.

Mako sat in stunned silence. "I--I'll make it up to you, Chief. I swear, I will! Just give me some paperwork and I promise that I'll--" Mako grasped at straws, sitting up straighter in his bed.

"No." Beifong said sternly and Mako fell silent once again. "My decision on the matter is final."

Mako dropped his gaze and curled in on himself. This wasn't happening. It _couldn't_ be happening. He was just doing his damn job. He didn't deserve this.

"I recommend you use your suspension to get some rest. We’ll talk more about your return when you’re fully healed.” She turned on her heal to leave, trying to ignore the silent tears swelling in Mako’s eyes.

“Wait,” He breathed, and Beifong hesitated slightly before turning around. He looked up at her, eyes glossy with tears, face pinched tight with pain. “Tell me someone’s going to pick up the case.”

Beifong looked down at the ground and shook her head. “Mako, we’ve been over this. You weren’t even supposed to be out last night to begin with. You don’t have enough evidence to even have a case _to_ take.” 

“But Chief, I’ve got a hunch. You’ve always said that you should follow your gut as a detective, and when have I ever lead you down the wrong path before—”

“Your _gut_ ,” Beifong interrupted with a snarl. “Almost got you _killed_ last night.” 

“I was going to catch them,” Mako insisted. “That earthbender, I swear he fucked up the road.” Mako shook his head, recounting the events of the night before and felt a shiver run down his spine as he remembered his motorcycle suddenly flying through the air. 

“I think it’s just as likely that you swerved off the road.” Beifong sighed heavily. “I know you think I haven’t noticed, but I know you haven’t been going home lately.” Mako’s gaze fell to the floor again. “You haven’t been sleeping. You shouldn’t have been operating a vehicle last night, let alone engaging in what might or might not have been a chase.”

“Chief,” Mako pleaded, tears beginning to spill from his eyes, much to his dismay. “You have to trust me on this. I _know_ they’re out for Korra. I can get you evidence, if you just let me—”

“No, Mako,” Beifong barked. Mako flinched hard, again jostling his injured ribs painfully. “I’m looking out for my best detective. The security team will be looking out for Avatar Korra when she returns to Republic City. I’ll alert them of your concerns, but this is out of your hands. Get some rest, kid.”

Beifong shut the door behind her, and Mako couldn’t help the sobs hitching his breath.

**

Mako walked slowly down the streets of Republic City, the dim streetlights lighting his path. The two days he spent in the hospital felt like an eternity—and a lonely one at that. Bolin had been in the Northern Water Tribe for the better part of two months, Korra and Asami were off in some Earth territory, still trying to undo the damage Kuvira had done there. Mako was alone. All that he had was work, and now—

Mako shook his head in a desperate attempt to shake off his thoughts. His friends would come back for him eventually, he knew they would. He just had to quit being such a baby about it. So what if he had to spend some time in his and Bolin’s apartment alone? It would be fine. He just had to convince himself of that.

He made his way up the stairs to their apartment, head hung low as he slid the key into the door. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been home. He still had his bedroll at the office from the last time he had hid out there. It served him well, though it wasn’t the best night’s sleep he had ever gotten. Then again, there was the small matter of the nightmares…

Mako swung the door open, pulling himself from his thoughts once again. He didn’t even bother to flick on the lights as he rubbed his head and tossed his bag onto the floor. 

A small smile crossed his lips as he noticed the slumbering figure on the couch.

Bolin startled awake as Mako shut the door behind him, the earthbender to splattering drool all over the couch as he shook himself up into a sitting position.

“Mako!” He called happily, sleepily rubbing his eyes and stumbling his way off the couch. Mako gathered up his younger brother in his arms, hugging him close, nearly forgetting about his still-sore ribs. “How you been big bro?” Bolin asked, still slightly delirious with sleep.

“Oh you know, just working,” Mako chuckled as he released the younger man and clapped him on the shoulder. “How was the trip to the Norther Water Tribe? Didn’t cause too much trouble, did you?”

“It was _insane_! I have so many good stories!” Bolin threw his hands out to the sides in exaggeration. 

“Can’t wait to hear em,” Mako welcomed the distraction. “Want a glass of water?”

“Sure,” Bolin yawned, and Mako turned to the kitchen.

“So, I’m sure you and Opal ran into Eska while you were there, knowing your luck,” Mako scoffed, rifling through the cabinet to find the glasses. His sink was cluttered with dishes, he hoped he had two clean ones to spare. “Bolin?” Mako asked when he got no response from his younger brother.

Bolin was sound asleep on the couch again, and Mako couldn’t help but chuckle to himself. He was probably wiped out from the trip.

The firebender sighed and placed the glasses back in the cabinet, mentally promising himself that he’d get to the dishes tomorrow. He scooped his brother’s heavy form off the couch and slung him over his shoulders, whisking him off to his bedroom. After he plopped the earthbender down unceremoniously onto his bed, he made his way back to his own room, a much needed smile on his lips.

***

The familiar scent of eggs and pig-deer bacon filled the small kitchen, the sunlight streaming in through the windows. Mako took a deep and settling breath. Good memories from the Pro-Bender’s attic drifted through his head lazily as he flipped the pig-deer bacon. 

“Woah,” Bolin stumbled in, rubbing his eyes blearily. “You’re going all out today, huh?” 

“Hey sleeping beauty,” Mako tossed a piece of bacon to his brother, who narrowly caught it. “Get a good night’s rest?”

“Like you wouldn’t believe,” Bolin yawned and stretched out on the couch. “The Northern Water Tribe is fun and all, but _wow_ is it cold all the time.”

“Well, that’s why it’s the North Pole.” Mako shook his head with a smile and began to warm the teapot with his firebending. “What time did you get in last night?”

“Came home around ten,” Bolin stretched his hands out over his head. “I tried waiting up for you, I swear!” 

“Yeah, sorry about that.” Mako rubbed the back of his head as he set out two cups of steaming tea onto the small dining table. “Late night, you know?”

“You have a lot of those lately?” Bolin pried gently, knowing not to test the waters with his brother.

“Yeah.” Mako breathed, focusing his energy on setting up the rest of the table.

Bolin’s forehead creased as he made his way wearily to the table. “You going in today?” He asked with another yawn as he plopped down on his chair.

“No,” Mako said harshly, his blood running cold. “I’m taking some time off to spend with you,” He lied through his teeth as he noticed Bolin’s curious gaze on his back. “Besides,” He cleared his throat as he set the filled plates in front of them, sitting down across from his brother. “I’ve got lots of stories to hear.” 

Bolin seemed to take the hint and a grin spread across his face. “Man you wouldn’t _believe_ the trouble that Pabu got himself into,” He started to shovel the breakfast into his face. “But I should probably save the stories for the dinner with Korra and Asami tonight!”

Mako nearly choked on the spoonful of eggs that he was forcing himself to eat. “Tonight? I thought they weren’t supposed to come back until next week.”

“They weren’t, but they decided to come back early and get some downtime in the city before all the meetings.” Bolin said excitedly, and Mako felt his heart catch in his throat. “You okay, Mako?” Bolin asked, mouth full of food.

“Yeah,” Mako shook his head, trying to center himself again. It’s like he forgot how to breathe. Korra and Asami couldn’t come back yet, he hadn’t caught the suspects. “I uh, I have to go make a call really quick.” Mako said abruptly, standing up quickly.

“What, got a hot date to cancel?” Bolin jested, but Mako didn’t slow down as he shut the door to his room behind him. 

Pabu squeaked on Bolin’s shoulder, and Bolin offered him a quick pat on the head to settle him. “I’m sure Mako’s fine. Probably just a little stressed from work.” 

Against his better judgement, Bolin crept towards Mako’s bedroom door, listening closely to Mako’s irritated voice on the other side.

“No, tell Beifong it’s important!” Mako sputtered. “I don’t care if she told you not to take my calls about work. You don’t understand, it’s—” Mako let out a frustrated sigh and slammed the phone down on the receiver.

Bolin scrambled away from the door and back to the kitchen table, narrowly making it back in time for Mako to reappear in the living room. 

“Everything okay?” Bolin asked gently.

“Just some work things,” Mako said gruffly, scooping up his dishes from the table and clearing them out into a container for the refrigerator.

“Hey, you barely ate anything!” Bolin protested, giving his older brother the puppy eyes.

“Ate more bacon than I cooked,” Mako laughed nervously, hoping the young earthbender wouldn’t catch him in the lie. Truth is, Mako hadn’t really been hungry in—well in a long time now. Especially not since the Kuvira incident…

“Well, more for me then,” Bolin shrugged and demolished the food on his plate, eliciting a chuckle from his brother.

Ignoring the gnawing suspicion in his stomach, Mako looked lovingly at his brother and thought that maybe, _just_ maybe, everything might be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I haven't written anything in a long time and I really kind of dislike my writing style, but I figured what the hell. No better way to break a writer's block than to write and send it off into the void!  
> I know it's not much of a start, but I promise that I have big things planned for this fic. It's going to be one helluva ride, so I hope you stick around for updates!  
> Thanks so much for reading!!! Comments and Kudos are oh so greatly appreciated :) <3


	2. Chapter 2

Mako always felt…uneasy going to Asami’s mansion. Sure, he had amazing memories of hanging out with his friends there, getting his first taste of luxury.

But as the rain began to drizzle overhead, he couldn’t help but let the memory of the hidden basement and the hard times creep into his head.

“And that’s why I’ll never let Pabu drive a Satomobile ever again,” Bolin finished, shielding the poorly-made cupcakes from the rain. “Mako?” He turned to his brother who was staring blankly at the door in front of them.

“Hm?” Mako pulled himself from his thoughts. “Oh, yeah. I don’t see why you let him drive in the first place,” Mako scoffed half-heartedly.

“I _told_ you. It wasn’t my call, Varrick said it would awesome!” Bolin protested, Pabu squeaking in reply. “Mako, are you even listening?” He elbowed his brother in the ribs slightly, causing the firebender’s face to scrunch up slightly in pain. “Hey,” Bolin’s gaze softened and he reached out to support his brother. “You okay?”

“I’m fine,” Mako grumbled, folding his arms across his chest, trying to hide the deep and controlled breaths he was desperately trying to suck in.

“Right,” Bolin shook his head and turned his attention back to the door angrily. Of _course_ Mako wouldn’t actually tell him if anything was wrong. Why even bother trying?

As Mako opened his mouth to apologize for snapping at his younger brother, the door to the mansion swung up, revealing a very formally-dressed Asami.

“Bolin! Mako! You made it!” She pulled them both in close for a hug, Bolin shuffling the cupcakes that were beginning to slide off the plate out of the way. 

“Hey Asami,” Mako returned the gesture, offering a quick pat on the back as she held the brothers tightly. “Don’t you look nice!”

“Thank you,” She beamed, curtseying and showing off her gorgeous beaded gown.

“I feel under-dressed,” Bolin blushed and rubbed the back of his neck. “I didn’t know this was a black-tie potluck kind of deal.”

“About that,” Asami sighed and gestured the brothers inside. “Change of plans.”

Mako and Bolin stepped inside of the enormous foyer, only to be met with a large crowd of diplomats and the higher-ups of Republic City and beyond. They all chatted away in their little socialization pods, munching away at their fancy snack foods.

“Now I _definitely_ feel under-dressed,” Bolin sighed and held his cupcakes close. 

“Varrick heard that we were coming back early and decided that this was a good time for Zhu Li to get some positive press from the Avatar’s return,” Asami sighed and folded her arms across her chest.

“Sounds like Varrick,” Mako offered only a dry laugh as he felt his chest tighten. 

“Those look _lovely_ Bolin!” Asami cooed as she noticed the blue and green smudged frosting on his cupcakes. 

“Thanks,” He sighed with defeat, glancing around at all of the fancy treats being passed around the room.

“C’mon,” Asami smiled warmly and took Bolin’s hand. “Let’s go find Korra. She’s going to _love_ them.” 

They waded their way through the crowd, Mako suspiciously eyeing each one of the guests. So what if he was technically off-duty? That wasn’t going to stop him from protecting his friends.

“Mako!” The firebender was nearly toppled over by Wu’s overzealous hug. 

“Hey, Wu.” Mako grumbled and patted the Earth King gently on the back before prying him off.

“I’m _so_ glad to see you, buddy! I heard what happened with your motorcycle the other day. Scary stuff! I’m just glad you’re okay.” Wu gushed.

“Motorcycle stuff?” Bolin asked, tugging at Asami’s arm as she continued to drag him through the crowd. “What’s he talking about, Mako?” The young earthbender’s brows were knit together with concern.

“Oh, awkward.” Wu grimaced and rubbed his hands together, before quickly switching back to his bubbly self. “Anyway, it’s good to see you Mako! I’ll catch up with you later!”

Mako half-waved at him before following Asami and Bolin once again.

“You two hang back,” Asami sighed as they reached a clearing. “Let me go find her.” She disappeared into the sea of diplomats.

“What motorcycle stuff?” Bolin trained his gaze on his brother once again.

“It’s nothing, Bo.” Mako shrugged, avoiding his brother’s stare. “You know how Wu likes to exaggerate and all.”

“Why wouldn’t you be okay?” Bolin pushed, stepping in front of the firebender so he’d have to look at him.

“I’m _fine_ , Bo. Really.” Mako insisted, the edge in his voice not going unnoticed by his younger brother.

“Bullshit.” Bolin growled.

Mako was taken aback. It wasn’t often that his brother got this aggressive, let alone towards him. Sure, they were brothers and they fought, but not like this. Not usually.

“Fine,” Bolin scoffed when Mako sat in silence. “ _Don’t_ tell me then. Don’t talk to your only brother about why you don’t eat, or don’t sleep, or have nightmares. It’s not like he’d want to know anyway.”

Mako’s eyes shot up. He had a habit of not giving his brother enough credit when it came to being observant, but this was clearly something that had been bothering the younger man for a while now.

“It…” Mako sucked in a breath before continuing. “It was just a little crash. I’m _fine_. It’s nothing to worry about.” Mako shook his head.

His heart nearly shattered when he saw the shock and pain on his brother’s face.

“I’ve been cleared by the healers and everything. It’s not a big deal,” Mako shrugged, feeling his chest getting tighter and tighter as Bolin looked him up and down for injuries.

“Not that big a _deal_? Why didn’t you tell me?” Bolin’s voice cracked. “When did this happen?” 

“A couple of days before you got here. Bo, it’s really nothing to worry about, I—”

“No.” Bolin said sternly. “Mako, just…no.” He was on the verge of tears. “Ever since Kuvira, I’ve had to watch my only family on a path to self-destruction.” He choked on his words. “You think I haven’t seen the way that you take care of yourself? Or should I say _don’t_ take care of yourself?”

Mako bit his lip, feeling tears springing into his eyes as Bolin continued. “Bo, I didn’t mean—” He said softly.

“Stop.” Bolin looked down at his sad cupcakes. “Don’t.”

“Hey guys!” Korra called out, wrapping her arms around them both as she appeared from the crowd, Asami in tow. “Am I interrupting something?” She laughed nervously as she released them.

“No,” Bolin shook his head solemnly. “No, I think we were just about done.”

“Right,” Korra narrowed her eyes. “Oh, let me introduce you guys to someone!” She turned towards a tall woman on her right, face glowering and cold. “This is Priestess Kala from the Earth Kingdom city Runova.” 

“Pleasure to make your acquaintance.” She said dryly, nodding to each of the men before her.

“The pleasure is ours,” Mako bowed politely to her, Bolin following suit.

“We met her on our little escapade in the Earth Kingdom,” Asami chipped in, hooking her arm around Korra’s hip lovingly. “Her town is absolutely _beautiful_. You’ll have to come with us to visit sometime.”

“If anything, I’d visit for another bottle of this wine!” Korra held up a sealed bottle. “They’ve got their own vineyard there.” Korra looked at the bottle with pure bliss in her eyes as she cradled it in her arms.

“Kala was kind enough to bring this with her for us. You guys want to try some?” Asami giggled as she watched Korra.

“I’ll take it to the kitchen and pour us each a glass,” Mako said gruffly and Korra begrudgingly handed over the bottle. 

“Thanks, Mako.” Asami beamed, taking note of how Bolin let out an almost inaudible huff as his brother walked away.

Mako couldn’t get away from the group fast enough. It was bad enough that he and Bolin were in the middle of a spat, let alone the fact that he now had to act diplomatic at a party that he hadn’t even known existed in the first place. Today was not his day.

He sighed heavily as he found the empty kitchen and shut the door softly behind him. The rain was coming down harder outside now, beating against the window relentlessly. Mako shook off his thoughts as he pulled out some glasses and one of the serving trays from the cabinet. At least they’d have wine. Agni knows he could use some right now.

Carefully and methodically he measured the dark red wine into each of the glasses. He took a quick sip from his glass, hoping to calm his nerves. Where was Korra’s guard? Beifong had told him that they would be protecting her, but there was no sign of them. Had Beifong just told him that to make him feel better? What if something happened to her here? 

He stared out the window and took another sip of his wine. He couldn’t afford to think like this. He could feel his heart beating faster. Korra and Asami had to be safe in their own home, right? He had nothing to worry about. Nothing at all.

A burst of lightning erupted in the sky and Mako jumped, dropping the glass on the counter. Lightning. He hadn’t seen lightning since…since he took out the core of Kuvira’s robot. When he almost _died_.

Something was wrong with him. Sharp pains ran through his scarred arm and stabbed into his chest. Struggling to brace himself as his breath hitched, he forgot about the glass on the counter. He staggered back as it sliced through his palm. He grabbed at his hand as he tripped over his feet, trying desperately to move himself away from the window.

Something was _very_ wrong.

He couldn’t think. He couldn’t breathe. His chest was on _fire_. As he stumbled back, his foot caught on the kitchen island, sending him tumbling to the ground. The impact jostled his sore ribs, sending even more pain through his chest. He curled up on himself, grasping at his hand and squeezing his eyes shut, trying desperately to breathe.

*

Bolin shouldn’t have heard the glass shatter. From two rooms away, over the din of the party, there was no way that he should’ve heard it.

Still, as the glass hit against the counter, Bolin’s head snapped to the kitchen. Uneasy feeling in his stomach, he stopped listening entirely to Korra and Asami’s tale of exploring the vineyard.

“Bolin?” Asami asked, training her eyes on the younger man. “You okay?”

“I’m fine,” Bolin’s brow furrowed. “I’ll be right back.” Bolin left without another word, making his way through the crowd and to the kitchen.

“Mako?” Bolin grumbled as he swung the door open. “What’s taking you so long?” He scanned the kitchen for the firebender, but came up empty. The only trace of him was the shattered wine glass on the counter, and was that…blood?

“Mako?” Bolin repeated a little louder, and this time heard his brother’s raspy breathing from the floor. His eye caught on Mako’s shoe from behind the island, and he burst into action.

“Mako!” He shouted as he slid across the floor to reach his brother. “Mako, talk to me! What’s wrong?!” Bolin put his hands on his brother’s side, trying to roll him onto his back so he could get a better look at him. “Mako!” He shook his brother, who only curled in onto himself more. “Oh Agni,” Bolin breathed as he noticed the horrific sounds coming from the firebender as he tried to take a deep breath. 

“KORRA! ASAMI!” Bolin shouted at the top of his lungs before turning his attention back to his brother. “Mako, I need you to breathe with me, okay bro?” He shifted his body and attempted to pull Mako’s head into his lap, but Mako only curled into himself further. “No, no. Come on, Mako,” Bolin cooed, trying to ignore the tears pooling in his eyes. “It’s gonna be okay, Mako. It’s gonna be okay,” Bolin brushed the hair from Mako’s face. “Breathe, Mako. _Breathe_.”

“Bolin?” Asami called out to him as she peered into the kitchen. “Mako!” She cried out as she noticed the duo on the ground. Korra barreled into the kitchen after her, sliding beside them and simultaneously bending water from the sink and onto her hands.

“Call an ambulance,” Korra commanded, and Asami practically flew out of the room to the nearest phone.

As Korra pressed her healing hands to Mako’s chest, he jumped back, throwing himself from Bolin’s lap and back onto the floor. What was left of his breath left his body once again as his ribs hit the ground. 

“Mako, let Korra help!” Bolin begged as his brother groaned in pain, curling up on himself once again. 

This was _bad_.


	3. Chapter 3

Bolin never liked hospitals. Not that he had that many opportunities to be in them in his life. Growing up, Mako was always the one to take care of him when he got hurt. They couldn’t afford a hospital stay unless it was a dire emergency.

Mako.

Strong, put-together Mako had always taken care of him. He was always there to be a shoulder to cry on, or there to clean up his scrapes. Now his brother was whisked away from him, in a hospital bed, scared and alone.

Beifong had showed up with the ambulance, practically burning with a righteous fury. She confiscated the wine, and Bolin hoped to Agni that her hunch wasn’t correct. If Mako had been poisoned….well, Bolin could only hope that they had gotten him to the hospital in time. He _had_ to be okay.

“Family of Mako?” The nurse came into the waiting room and Bolin pulled his head out of his hands, not bothering to wipe the tears from his eyes. “He’s stable, but we had to sedate him when he came in. He’s still asleep now.”

Bolin let out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding. Asami rested a supportive hand on his shoulder and Korra rubbed a supportive circle on his back.

“You can go in to see him now. We’ll talk more when we get in there.” Bolin practically jumped up from the chair and followed the nurse into Mako’s room.

His brother was sleeping peacefully on the bed, though he was deathly still. His hand bundled in a tight bandage, his forehead still creased with worry, Bolin would’ve just assumed his brother had passed out from exhaustion once again. Still, it was a relief to see him breathing steadily.

“Did the poison have an antidote?” Korra asked, clinging tightly to Asami’s side.

“Mako wasn’t poisoned,” The nurse stated plainly. “We believe he suffered a severe anxiety attack.”

“ _Mako_?” Korra breathed. No one else could even formulate any kind of response.

“Yes.” The nurse nodded as Asami guided Bolin gently to fall into a chair. “We’re not sure exactly what triggered the attack, but we’ll get more information when he wakes up. However, we believe that an attack this bad was caused by a build-up of problems, probably gone unaddressed for a while. The anxiety attack, coupled with the intensive scar tissue on his chest, caused him to have serious breathing problems.”

“What do we do now?” Bolin whispered, watching his brother’s chest fall and rise.

“We recommend that he takes a short stay in the mental care facility.” The nurse said flatly, and Bolin forgot how to breathe. _Mako?_ In a _care_ facility? “With the severity of this attack and his medical conditions, he could be a danger to himself if his mental health were to continue to go unaddressed.”

“Can—can we just take him home?” Bolin sniffled, rubbing tears away from his eyes. The thought of Mako in a care facility was overwhelming to him. It wasn’t happening. It _couldn’t_ be happening.

“If you think it’s where he might be the most comfortable,” The nurse sighed. “but we don’t recommend it. If these issues continue to go unaddressed by a professional…” The nurse trailed off and Bolin’s heart dropped.

“We’ll make sure he gets the best care possible at home.” Asami piped up, breaking the silence. “We’ll take good care of him.” She assured the nurse, and tried to assure herself.

“If he relapses, we really recommend the care facility in the Fire Nation.” The nurse handed Asami a pamphlet. “It’s one of the best facilities around.”

Asami nodded softly, ignoring the growing heat in Korra’s interlocked hand.

Bolin took Mako’s good hand in his own and held it tight, ignoring the tears slipping down his cheeks. His brother was going to be okay. He would make sure of it.

*

Mako had had just about enough of everyone’s doting. Ever since they’d left the hospital, Bolin had been glued to his side like a lost puppy. At first he hadn’t minded too much—he _had_ missed his brother after all, and he was glad that they weren’t fighting anymore—but now it was getting a bit ridiculous.

It had been almost a week since his “attack” and Mako honestly felt perfectly fine. No need for the touchy-feely shit that his friends were trying to push on him.

Sure, he had been a little bit stressed. But that’s life. He just needed some more sleep and he was _sure_ that he would be fine.

Bolin, on the other hand, was less than convinced. He couldn’t get the memory of his brother lying there on the floor--absolutely helpless and struggling to _breathe_ \-- out of his mind.

Admittedly, he was being a _bit_ clingy. But he couldn’t help it. The other option was to put his brother in a care facility. That was the last thing that he wanted.

But, as Bolin slept restlessly on his air temple cot, he couldn’t help but wonder if he really made the right choice. The odds of Mako actually opening up to him were abysmal. He could practically hear Mako telling him that “big brothers don’t have weaknesses”.

He let out a huff. What bullshit. It’s not like he was asking his brother to open up to him about every little thing in his life that had ever gone wrong. All he wanted to know was if he was okay.

Luckily for Team Avatar, Tenzin agreed to let them all stay on Air Temple Island for a little while. Mako was more than hesitant about staying in Asami’s mansion, and he wasn’t exactly fond of the close quarters apartment with a _very_ clingy little brother.

At least on Air Temple Island he could sneak out of his room undetected at night and get some space. He crept out the window and to the edge of the island, taking a seat on the cliff facing Republic City.

Out here, he could breathe a bit easier. He knew that the airbenders would take good care of them there. He didn’t have to be on his guard. But still, it was a bit unsettling to be away from his home. Even though he could literally see it from where he was, he missed Republic City. The bright twinkling lights, the bustling streets, the police station…

“Mind if I join you?” Tenzin asked and Mako jumped at the master’s near-silent approach.

“Of course not,” Mako cleared his throat and turned back to the city lights.

Tenzin wordlessly sat down beside the firebender, gracefully adjusting his cloaks as he reached the ground.

“Republic City is a special kind of beautiful from here,” Tenzin noted, staring out across the water. “You’d almost think that it’s…peaceful from here.”

Mako scoffed and rolled his eyes with a smile. “Peaceful my _ass_ ,” He laughed. “Believe me, I’ve been a cop for years now, and it’s…anything but peaceful,” Mako trailed off as he realized what he was saying, his shoulders sagging just a bit. He’d almost let himself forget for a minute there.

“Lin told me what happened.” Tenzin turned towards Mako, his eyes filled with a strange tranquility and understanding.

Mako just nodded slowly, keeping his gaze fixed on the twinkling lights.

“It’s not your fault, you know.” Tenzin offered gently. “I know what it’s like to feel as though the weight of the world rests on your shoulders.” He continued, speaking softly and carefully.

“It’s not—” Mako caught himself before his temper flared too much. “It’s not the stress of the job that’s getting me. There really is something going on out there, I can _feel_ it.” He sighed heavily and pulled his knee to his chest, cradling it.

“I didn’t mean to imply that there wasn’t.” Tenzin said, turning his eyes back to the city. “We’re keeping an eye out, Mako. You don’t need to worry about that.”

“Right,” Mako scoffed, immediately regretting the action. “Sorry, it’s just that—”

“I know,” Tenzin nodded. “Lin was…dismissive. It’s in her nature. But that doesn’t mean she doesn’t trust you.” He insisted. “I know for a fact that she has a task force out there keeping a close eye out for anything suspicious.”

“You’re serious?” Mako turned, wide-eyed and hopeful to Tenzin, before quickly turning away again. “Whatever. If she really believed me, she wouldn’t have…” He trailed off again, pulling his knee closer and resting his head on it.

“She’s worried about you, Mako. That’s all this is.” Tenzin assured him. “She sees herself in you. She knows that you won’t stop until you’ve gotten what you want, and she knows how easily you can get burned out living that way.”

“I get my job done. That’s the important thing. I’m keeping people _safe_.” Mako said coldly, cursing the tears he could feel forming in his eyes. If he didn’t have this job...

Tenzin carefully thought over his next words. Mako could practically hear the gears in his head turning. 

“Finding the strength to keep others safe is an incredible thing,” Tenzin finally added. “But finding the strength to keep oneself safe is often the real challenge.”

“Mako?! Oh thank Agni!” Bolin skidded to a stop as he barreled down the path, nearly causing a dust storm in the process. “Dude, you can’t just run off like that!” He panted, hands on his knees trying to catch his breath. “I’ve been looking all over for you!”

“I just needed some air. Relax, Bolin.” Mako said gruffly and stood up. “I’ll see you back at the room.” 

As the young firebender stormed off, Bolin and Tenzin shared a worried glance. This might be harder than they had hoped.


	4. Chapter 4

“But everything changed when the fire nation attacked...” Mako said in a sinister voice.

The children in the orphanage were at the edge of their seats, trembling with wide eyes. 

“Don’t worry,” he cooed, turning the page. “This is where the great Avatar Aang comes to save the day!” The kids all visibly relaxed and scooted closer to Mako, sitting cross-legged on the threadbare floor. 

“And Lord Zuko and Toph and Katara and Sokka too!” One of the kids piped up, bursting with excitement. 

“That’s right,” Mako smiled gently. “Avatar Aang, Lord Zuko, Toph, Katara, and Chief Sokka taught us that heroes come in all shapes and sizes. They taught us that you can do good, no matter where you’re from. Always remember that.”

“Get to the part about the elephant koi!” One of the kids that was currently knuckle deep in his own boogers pleaded.

“We’re getting there, don’t worry,” Mako chuckled. 

“What about when you helped Avatar Korra save Republic City from Kuvira?” Another child with bouncing curls asked timidly. 

“That’s a story for another day,” Mako shook his head, his smile tightening. 

“But what a great story it is,” Bolin appeared in the doorway, leaning against it in an attempt to look suave.

“It’s Nuktuk!” The children shrieked and stormed Bolin. 

“Hey there kiddos,” Bolin smiled widely and grabbed up as many as he could in a hug. “I’ve got some important Nuktuk business with Mako here, if you don’t mind!” Bolin’s eyes met Mako, who simply looked down and shut the storybook on his lap.

“Anything for Nuktuk!” The kids laughed and chased Pabu off into the next room.

“So,” Bolin’s expression hardened as the kids left. “Didn’t feel like telling me you were leaving?”

“Sorry, _Nuktuk_ ,” Mako sneered, closing the book on his lap. “I needed some space.”

“I get it.” Bolin sighed. “I do, Mako. But, you can’t just _disappear_ on me like that. I worry, you know.”

“Yeah,” Mako offered a half-hearted reply as he stood up and brushed himself off.

“I’m just…” Bolin sucked in a deep breath. “Look, I’m sorry okay?”

Mako hadn’t been expecting that. 

“I know that I’m a lot sometimes. I don’t mean to be,” Bolin rubbed his arm and stared down at the floor. “I’m just worried. You’re not okay, but you won’t admit it.”

“Bo,” Mako’s big brother instincts kicked in as he drew closer to Bolin. “I’m _fine_. That’s what I’ve been telling you.”

“I was there,” Bolin shouted, tears leaking from his big green eyes. “I saw you on the floor! I thought—I thought you were—“ He sniffled. 

“I’m okay, Bo. I am. Look at me,” Mako grabbed his brother’s shoulders supportively. Bolin’s puffy eyes slowly rose to meet his. “I’m okay. That’s not my first anxiety attack, you know. I know how to handle it.”

Bolin’s brow knitted together as Mako’s words sunk in. “Wh—what do you mean?” 

Mako sighed. “You just caught me at a bad time. I would’ve gotten my shit together eventually.”

“How long has this been going on?” Bolin asked, wiping the snot from his face with his sleeve. 

“A while,” Mako admitted begrudgingly. “But that’s not important.” He wrapped his brother in a big hug. “You don’t have to follow me around. I know how to handle myself.”

“But Mako, you don’t _have_ to handle yourself. That’s the point.” Bolin hugged him back tightly. “Me, Korra, Asami, we’re all here to _help_ you handle it. That’s what family’s for.”  
After a long pause, Mako finally released his brother. “Okay.” He said quietly. “Okay.” He repeated, steeling himself, then Bolin nearly tackled his brother in another hug. 

“I love you, Mako.” Bolin breathed, squeezing his brother tight. 

“I love you too.” Mako patted his brother on the back. “Can we go back now?” 

Bolin released his brother and whistled for Pabu, who came barreling through the door, children hot on his heels. The brothers quickly and politely made their exit, walking down the familiar streets of Republic City. 

“If you would’ve told me ten years ago where we’d be today, I wouldn’t have believed you.” Bolin chuckled as they walked on. “I mean, we used to scrounge for food in this neighborhood!”

“Yeah,” Mako nodded, a smile crossing his lips. They had come a long way. Sure, they had been through their fair share of shit, but hey. Maybe that meant that now they’d get a break. Maybe he had just been paranoid before. Maybe there really was nothing looming in the shadows. 

As they rounded the corner, the hair on the back of Mako’s neck stood straight up. Something was off. He turned his head quickly and caught a glimpse of a shadow ducking into an alley. 

Without a second’s thought, he took off after it, leaving Bolin in his dust. Heart pounding, he raced down the alleyway, barely making ground on the figure he was chasing down. 

“Mako!” Bolin called after him, but Mako barely even noticed. 

This was the threat he was after. He could just _feel_ it. 

As his feet pounded down the alleyway, the figure threw itself on top of a dumpster and over a chain-link fence. It climbed quickly up a ladder to the rooftop above. 

Mako didn’t hesitate to match the shadow’s movements. The thing was fast, he had to admit, but Mako was no turtleduck himself. He raced into the rooftop, barely skidding to a stop when the shadow jumped off the edge. Just like that, it was gone. 

“MAKO!” Bolin shouted, throwing himself onto the rooftop. “Wha—what the fuck?!” The younger man struggled to catch his breath as he dragged his brother away from the roof’s edge.  
“It got away,” Mako grumbled, kicking a rock as hard as he could, sending it skittering into the night. 

For a moment, Bolin couldn’t even think. He just stood there, staring at his brother. His brother that had nearly jumped off a _rooftop_ chasing something that Bolin hadn’t even seen.

*  
Bolin was scared. 

He had been scared before, but after his brother’s incident...he’d never been more scared in his _life_. 

Mako was chasing ghosts. He nearly jumped off the roof chasing down a _shadow_. 

No matter how much Mako had tried to convince him, no matter how much his brother said ‘Tokuga is still out there’, Bolin was afraid.

His brother wasn’t okay. In fact, he was even _less_ okay than they had thought.

Not even Tenzin seemed convinced by Mako’s insistence that he wasn’t seeing things, and there really was someone there in the alley. Tenzin told him that fear can make people imagine things that aren’t truly there. Mako stormed off to his room without eating dinner and hadn’t come out since. 

Bolin pulled the blankets tight around his shoulders, snuggling his face against Pabu. He knew he wouldn’t sleep tonight, memories of Mako teetering on the roof’s edge playing again and again in his head. 

A scream erupted from Mako’s room, pulling him from his thoughts.

Bolin burst into action, busting through Mako’s door, only to find him sweating and sleeping fitfully. 

Mako had had nightmares before. Bolin knew this. He’d had nightmares since they were little kids. 

Bolin gently rested a hand on his brother’s shoulders, hoping to pull him from his dream like usual.

“Wake up, Mako,” Bolin pleaded, watching as his brother’s face laced itself together in agony. 

“No,” Mako whispered. “No, no, no!” His voice grew louder as he tossed around. 

“Mako!” Bolin grabbed both of his brother’s shoulders, and Mako shot straight up—a blast of fire throwing itself from his hand. 

Bolin ducked out of the way, the fireball hitting the mirror across the room and shattering it. Mako’s eyes grew wide as he woke up from his nightmare and seeing the horror on his brother’s face. 

Fuck. 

**

“This isn’t like him,” Bolin sniffled, Asami’s arm wrapped right around his shoulders. “He just needs some time to cool off.”

“I don’t want to think about it any more than you do, Bolin. None of us do. But if we don’t do something…” Korra trailed off, looking down at the ground. 

“He won’t go willingly,” Tenzin sighed, sipping on his tea. “The boy’s as stubborn as they come.”

“And Tenzin would know,” Kya chimed in. “Maybe if we talk to him about it, he’ll reconsider. He’s just as scared as you are, Bolin. And this isn’t permanent. He would only stay long enough to get him back on his feet.”

Bolin said nothing, his face hot with tears. He knew he had to keep his brother safe, he just didn’t know how.

“I think perhaps we should talk more tomorrow. We should all get some rest.” Tenzin sighed, watching Bolin with sad eyes.

Bolin nodded slowly, shrugging Asami’s arm off his shoulder and making his way slowly to his room. His head spun with worry. His only family. He couldn’t lose Mako. He was a risk to himself, and to others. 

As he passed his brother’s room, something inside him shattered. He felt like a scared little kid again. Lost and alone. He didn’t even have his brother to make everything better. 

Before he even realized what he was doing, he was cracking the door to Mako’s room. His brother sat on the side of his bed, his head buried in his hands. He looked up as the earthbender approached, tears spilling down his cheeks. 

“Bo?” His voice cracked between sobs. “Bo, I’m so—“ He stood up slowly and cautiously to face his brother, but Bolin interrupted him by rushing him with a tight hug. 

“I’m scared, Mako.” Bolin sobbed into Mako’s shoulder as his brother wrapped his arms around him. 

“Me too, Bo. Me too.” Mako sighed, smoothing the back of his brother’s hair with his hand. “I’m so sorry.”

“Can I stay here tonight?” Bolin sniffled. 

“Of course,” Mako cooed, trying to push the memory of his brother’s horrified face from his mind. Bolin needed him right now. He couldn’t break down just yet. 

Bolin finally released him from the embrace and curled up on Mako’s bed. Mako slipped under the covers beside him, and Pabu snuggled his way between the two of them. 

For a moment, they were transported back in time. Back when they were alone on the streets. Back when all they had was each other. So much had changed, but there was one thing Mako knew would never change. 

As his brother drifted off to sleep at his side, Mako knew that he would do anything to protect his brother. 

***

Bolin woke up slowly, sunlight streaming through the window in Mako’s room. As he cleared the drool from his face, he got the sinking feeling that something was wrong. 

He turned and couldn’t find his brother beside him. His heart dropped as he saw the note taped to the broken mirror across the room. 

He scrambled out of bed and snatched it from the glass, tears already welling in his eyes before he even read the words. 

_Bo,_

_I’m so sorry. I’ll see you again soon, I promise._

_-Mako_

Bolin blinked away tears.

Those were the only words his brother had written on the back of the Fire Nation care facility pamphlet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW!!! You people rock, seriously! You're all so kind with your kudos and comments, I seriously appreciate you all so much.  
> This is also a probably a good time to let you know this story is unbeta'd, so...there are a lot of mistakes. Thanks for overlooking them!  
> Also, I've finished my outline for this story and it is _intense_. So just...be prepared for that I guess?  
> Thank you all so much for your support. I appreciate you all!!!!


	5. Chapter 5

“We’re glad to have you here, Mako. You’ve taken a monumentally large step into recovery,” The nurse smiled brightly at Mako.

The firebender said nothing as he followed her down the hallway, duffle bag in tow. 

The care facility wasn’t nearly what he thought it would be. Where he imagined prison bars, there were only decorated doors. Where he had pictured hospital gowns, he had only found loose, but stylish, tunics. 

“We have community events every day. They aren’t mandatory, but they might make your stay here more enjoyable,” The woman continued cheerfully as Mako peeked into the passing rooms.

Most everyone here seemed….almost content. They weren’t wailing and begging to be let out.

“You’ll have group therapy, as well as daily therapy sessions with your assigned therapist. I think you’ll find the sessions enlightening and delightful.” She prattled on, and Mako had to suppress and eye-roll. 

He didn’t want to be here. He knew he wasn’t crazy. Even if no one else knew. 

But maybe the stay would be good for his nerves. Maybe that would be enough for him to want to stay. 

“And here’s your room!” The woman stopped abruptly, nearly sending Mako crashing into her. “If you need anything before your first session, feel free to use the button next to your bed. And remember, the common room is down the hall! Make sure to stop by!” She smiled at him before disappearing down the hall. 

Mako sighed deeply as he stepped foot into his new home. He had to remind himself that it wasn’t permanent as he set his bag down beside his cushy bed. This was _way_ nicer than anything he had slept in before, aside from Asami’s mansion. He shook off the thoughts about his friends and began to scan his new surroundings. 

Though the window let in generous amounts of light that he was grateful for, he knew that it was much too small for him to escape from. There was only one way in and out of this room, and that was the main door. The door that locked from the outside. 

His breath hitched at the thought. At least it was defendable if something were to happen. 

He shook his head and began to unpack what few belongings he had. The photo of Bolin, Korra, Asami, and himself from after one of their tournament matches was laid out in his nightstand. A small cutting of his scarf was put down beside it. 

He flopped down on his bed, staring up at the ceiling. Fear began to course through his body. What had he gotten himself into? He couldn’t protect his family from inside these walls. Yet at the same time, maybe he was still protecting them from himself…

“Mako?” An elderly woman called from the open doorway as she knocked softly. Mako sat up reluctantly to face her. “My name’s Kiyi, I’ll be your therapist here.”

Mako offered only a nod of acknowledgement in her direction. 

“We’ve got a session scheduled for right now, if you’re up to it.” She said warmly, but Mako merely shrugged. He wasn’t sure he was really up for anything in general. “Why don’t we just get to know each other a little better?” She persisted, and Mako finally slinked off his bed. 

“Let’s go to one of my favorite places in the facility,” She said as they walked slowly down the hall. “I think you’ll like it there.” 

Mako didn’t know how to describe how he had felt except...numb. He was so far from Republic City. He was so far from his family. He was so far from home.

“So, Mako,” Kiyi piped up after they rounded another corner. “How are you liking the facility so far?”

Mako simply shrugged again, stuffing his hands into his tunic pockets.

“I see you’re a man of many words,” She chuckled, not seeming offended in the least bit. “That’s okay. Our actions are always louder than our words.”

She led him through a door and into a courtyard. Immediately, the fresh scent of cherry blossoms hit him. Turtleducks chirped in the pond just ahead of him. The soft breeze tickled his exposed skin.

“This is my favorite place here,” Kiyi spoke softly as she sat down beside the turtleduck pond. “My mother and brother have always loved the turtleducks.” She cooed as she tossed some bread their way.

Mako wordlessly sat down beside her, watching as the critters swam happily around in circles.

“There’s something so comforting to me about turtleducks,” Kiyi handed some crumbs to Mako as she spoke. “The shell must hold quite the weight on their backs, but it keeps them safe from the outside world. Yet, despite this weight on their shoulders, they are still soft and caring.” Kiyi motioned to the mother turtleduck helping her child onto the pond’s edge. “It makes you wonder sometimes how they’ve found their balance.”

Mako tossed a few crumbs into the water half-heartedly and a turtleduckling swam up to him, happily munching on the bread.

“Seems you’ve made a friend,” Kiyi chuckled. “It’s a sign of a good man if he wins the love of turtleducks.”

Mako shook his head, dumping the last of the bread crumbs to the happy creature.

“You know,” Kiyi folded her hands neatly on her lap. “I’ve read your file, Mako. But words on paper pale in comparison to word of mouth. I’d like to know not who the paper thinks you are, but who _you_ think you are.”

“I know who I am.” Mako said gruffly.

“That’s wonderful,” Kiyi smiled brightly. “Most people go their whole lives without even touching upon who they truly are. So tell me, Mako. Why did you come here, really?”

Mako sat in silence, watching the turtleduckling swim up closer to him, begging for more food that he didn’t have to offer.

“I came to get better.” He finally said, watching the turtleduck lose interest in him and ventured around the pond.

“That’s a very good thing,” Kiyi said softly. “But, for you to get better, we have to find out what it is that’s wrong.”

“I guess I’m just overstressed.” He grumbled, folding his arms across his chest.

“What makes you think that?” Kiyi pried gently.

“I--I mean everyone says that I work too much,” Mako chose his words carefully.

“And what do you say?”

Mako swallowed hard. “I say that I don’t work enough.” He answered quietly.

“I see,” Kiyi nodded her head, listening intently. “And what is it you do for a living?”

“I’m a police officer.” Mako droned. She had to have known that if she read his file. 

“That’s not what I asked,” She prodded.

“I...I help people.” 

Kiyi nodded in approval. “You say you don’t work enough. Frankly, I agree.” 

Mako’s head snapped in her direction. 

“You say you help people. Are you not a person, Mako?” She continued, raising an inquisitive eyebrow at him.

“It’s different.” He turned his stare back to the pond.

“How so?” She asked, tilting her head slightly.

“They need it more than I do.” He admitted with a heavy sigh.

“Why is that?” Kiyi pried gently.

“I--I’ve always been able to take care of myself. That’s why. I don’t need to take help away from someone else that needs it more.” He mumbled, his shoulders slouching.

“I see.” Kiyi said softly, watching the pond once again. “So why are you _really_ here, Mako?”

Mako stared into the water. He knew why he was there. _She_ knew why he was there. So then why was she asking?

“I told you, I want to get better.” He said firmly.

“Why do you want to get better?” She asked and Mako froze. “If you were functioning fine on your own before, why come here? Why try to get better?”

“Because,” Mako said stiffly, staring down at his hands. “Because…” He started again, unable to find the words. His eyes caught on the burn scar lacing up his arm. The slit in his palm from the wine glass.

He felt sick to his stomach. His head started to spin. Why was he here? Why did he think he could do this?

“I think,” Kiyi interrupted his spiraling thoughts and took his hand. “Perhaps it’s time to try an exercise.” 

Kiyi carefully guided his burned hand to the grass by his side. “Concentrate on the way that this feels.” She pressed his hand to the grass gently.

“Why?” Mako breathed, trying to control himself.

“It’s important to remember the present, Mako. Not what could be, or what was. You have to be aware of what _is_.” 

Mako sucked in a breath as deep as he could manage. He closed his eyes and felt the cool grass brush against his fingertips. Though the burn stretching across his arm left him with some nerve damage, he could still feel the way that it tickled between his fingers.

Kiyi gently guided his hand towards the turtleduck pond and dipped his fingertips in the water. Mako frowned at the sudden coolness brushing against his fingers. A small smile crossed his lips as he felt the feathers of a turtleduck snuggling against him. 

Deep breath after deep breath, Mako settled himself. He focused on the way the breeze wafted lazily around him. The way that the turtleduck nuzzled against his hand gently. The smell of the blossoms drifting into his nose.

“You see, the mind likes to play tricks on us, Mako. It likes to lead us to believe that the present is something to be ignored. In reality, there is nothing more important.” Kiyi cooed after a long silence.

Mako opened up his eyes, sucking in another deep breath. “My brother.” He cleared his throat.

“What was that, dear?”

“You asked why I was here. I’m here for my brother.” He breathed, watching the turtleduck intently.

His heart ached. He hated to leave Bolin the way that he did, but he didn’t have a choice. He couldn’t face him with the decision he had made. He knew it was for the best, but...it just hurt so _bad_. He could practically see the pain in his brother’s eyes. The hurt. The fear.

Mako sucked in another deep breath. He missed his brother.

“I’m proud of you, Mako.” Kiyi smiled brightly at him. “This isn’t supposed to be an easy thing, you know. There is no easy fix here.” She sighed. “It’s going to be a long and painful process,” She took Mako’s hand. “The only way to get better is to open up. I know that it’s difficult, but I also know that you’re more than capable. So, I’m very proud of you, Mako.” She patted his hand.

Mako took another deep breath, trying to steady his nerves. “I don’t want to be here.”

“That’s not a bad thing, dear. I would be worried if you said you did,” Kiyi chuckled lightly. “You’re here to get better, not here to make a home. Recovery is possible, Mako. I promise you that.”

Mako sighed heavily. He felt stupid. He felt like a little kid. He was a police officer, dammit. He was supposed to be strong. He was supposed to be an adult.

He balled his hands into fists as his temper flared. This wasn’t right. He just wanted to go home.

“Vulnerability is not a sign of weakness,” Kiyi broke him from his thoughts. “It’s a sign of strength. To be vulnerable means that you have the strength to take down your walls.”

Mako shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut harder. 

“That’s a lesson you’ll learn with time.” She said gently. “You’ve done well today, Mako. You truly have.”

Mako forced his hands to relax. This was going to be harder than he had hoped.


	6. Chapter 6

“And that’s why you can’t trust the birds!” The young woman at Mako’s side shouted enthusiastically. “You just can’t! Enemy territory means enemy birds!” 

Mako had to physically restrain himself from huffing in frustration. Group therapy wasn’t exactly his speed, and he sure as hell didn’t belong in _this_ group. 

He’d been at the facility for almost a week now and had hardly spoken to anyone since the first day with Kiyi. She’d taken her silence as an opportunity to tell him about her sister, who had evidently stayed in this very facility when she was young. 

Mako didn’t care much for the stories. They were supposed to be a symbol of hope to him, show him that recovery _was_ possible. 

But to Mako? All they showed him was how incapable and _crazy_ everyone thought that he was. 

He knew what he saw. He didn’t belong here. Not with these people.

“Ama, remember what we’ve talked about,” The group therapist nudged at her gently. “Mako, want to remind her?”

Mako shook his head slowly, his gaze burning a hole in the floor, arms folded tightly across his chest. 

The therapist sighed. “Sometimes, we have to see things from another perspective,” He filled the silence, but Mako was hardly listening. “We have to recognize that we don’t always see the whole truth.”

“How do you know that _you’re_ the one not seeing the whole truth?” Ama sneered and the therapist folded his hands neatly on his clipboard  
Mako looked up from the floor for a fleeting second. 

“I often don’t see the whole truth,” The therapist explained gingerly. “My perspective is limited. However, sometimes trauma has a way of limiting our perspective even more. We have to be mindful of this.”

Mako rolled his eyes and stared at the floor tiles again. 

“Mako, do you have anything you want to share?” The therapist asked gingerly. 

“Yeah. It’s lunch time.” He muttered, and right on cue the clock in the room sounded noon. 

“We’ll pick this back up on Thursday,” The therapist smiled at the group, who had already begun to scatter across the common room. 

Mako hauled himself off his chair and started off towards his room before he heard Kiyi call his name. He reluctantly slowed to a stop, allowing the elderly lady to catch up to him.

“Are you ready for our session?” She asked warmly and Mako offered only a curt nod in response. 

Kiyi led him out to the courtyard yet again. Mako had to admit, she _did_ pick the perfect spot for their sessions. It was relieving to feel Agni’s warmth on his skin every day.

“I was thinking that today we might do something a little different.” She moved towards the spacious grassy yard. “I think today we speak with our actions rather than words.”

Mako followed her, curiosity getting the better of him as she stretched her arms towards the sun. She began to move like water, her body slow and harmonious. 

“Ancient waterbending techniques,” She explained as she made wave motions slowly and carefully. 

“I’m not a waterbender.” Mako grumbled, folding his arms across his chest. 

“Nor am I,” Kiyi chuckled, shifting into another pose. “I learned this from an old family friend. Moving like the water can prove to be very soothing.”

Mako watched as she stepped forward, stretching her hands out before her. 

“Doesn’t seem too effective for waterbending. Not at that speed.” He furrowed his brow as he watched her carefully calculated motions, though they had no intent behind them other than moving for moving’s sake. Strange. 

“These movements are designed to move chi, not water.” Kiyi explained. “Why don’t you give it a try?”

Not admitting how curious he was, Mako reluctantly began to copy Kiyi’s movements. 

He knew a thing or two about chi, what with his firebending and all. But this had felt entirely… _different_ somehow. When he did his firebending katas, it was for a purpose. It was to create fire. But this? He wasn’t quite sure what the purpose was. But...he didn’t hate it. 

After about an hour of fluid movement, Mako felt almost at peace. He hadn’t expected something to be so relaxing, yet here he was. It was nice to have a break from all of the talking and being talked at whenever he was around someone. It was nice to focus on the movement rather than the purpose. 

Kiyi finished her movements and lowered herself slowly onto the grass. Mako followed her wordlessly, crossing his legs underneath him. 

“We do have some important things to discuss.” Kiyi sighed and Mako felt his shoulders begin to tense up once again. “First and foremost, your brother was here again today.”

“I know.” Mako looked down at the ground. 

“You didn’t go to visitation hours.” 

“I know.” Mako breathed, balling his hands into fists in his lap. 

“Why, Mako?” Kiyi asked, her eyes filled with concern. 

He didn’t want Bolin to see him like this. He didn’t want his brother to know that he was in here, being treated like a crazy person. He didn’t need Bolin to see how weak he was.  
He was the big brother. He had to be strong. 

“Didn’t want to see him.” He lied through his teeth. 

“Didn’t want to see him, or didn’t want him to see _you?_ ” Kiyi asked and Mako fell silent. “I understand, Mako. I do. This is a difficult time,” She took his hand in hers. “Bear in mind that this is a difficult time for him too. He wants to see you, dear. He wants to see with his own eyes that you’re okay.”

“I’m not!” He snapped, drawing his hand back before he even realized what he was doing. “Last time I saw him, I almost _killed_ him on accident,” He breathed. The words were tumbling out faster than he could catch them. “I didn’t do it on purpose. He knows that I didn’t. But—“ He paused, remembering his brother’s face. The horror. The fear. “But it still happened.”

“You shouldn’t do anything that you aren’t yet comfortable with.” Kiyi cooed. “But don’t think that you have to keep him away for his sake. If he didn’t want to see you, he wouldn’t keep coming.”

Mako swallowed hard. She was right. Bolin could have easily given up on him after the first visit. He wouldn’t have blamed him. His brother was easily distracted, anyway. Always moving on to bigger and better things. 

But his brother was here. _Still_. Even after days of trying unsuccessfully to see him. 

A little bit of hope flickered in Mako’s chest. 

Then he remembered. 

The note. The mirror. He knew the exact way his brother would react when he saw it. 

“I’m not ready.” Mako breathed, almost inaudibly.

“That’s okay,” Kiyi assured him. “You take the time that you need to heal.”

Mako nodded slowly, running his fingers absently through the grass. What was his problem? Of _course_ he wanted to see his brother. He wanted to hug him tight and tell him that everything was going to be okay. 

But…

He didn’t know if he could even tell him that. 

“We also need to discuss something else.” Kiyi spoke gently, pulling Mako from his thoughts. “I’ve been observing you over the past week, as you know. Trying to figure out how best to help you,” She watched him closely for a reaction, but he kept his stoic gaze fixed on the ground. “I’ve seen the way you peer around corners. You’re always on guard,”

Mako bit his tongue. He thought that _someone_ should be on guard here at least. 

“I’m going to prescribe you a medication,” Kiyi said and Mako’s head snapped up at her. “I know it’s not what you want, but I truly believe that it will help you.”

“I don’t need it,” Mako said, narrowing his gaze. 

“It’s an antipsychotic,” Kiyi continued, ignoring Mako’s burning gaze. 

“No!” Mako screamed, his anger boiling. “No, I don’t need it! I swear!”

“Mako,” Kiyi pushed gently, taking his hand in hers. “I’m trying to help you. This is just a trial. One of the things that might help you.”

Mako turned away, taking his hand back and digging his fingernails into his palms. This wasn’t happening. He wasn’t psychotic. He didn’t hallucinate. No matter what anyone else said. He _knew_ he didn’t. How could she not see that? 

Mako’s breath hitched, his heart beating out of his chest. He had to get out of here. This wasn’t right. 

“Mako,” Kiyi said forcefully, snapping Mako back into attention. “Listen to me. This is nothing to be ashamed of. Do you understand me?”

Mako didn’t meet her eyes, panic welling in his chest. Why? _Why?_

“Your job is to help people.” Kiyi continued, but Mako could barely hear her over the blood rushing to his ears. “That includes helping yourself.”

He stood up quickly, his head throbbing. Before he knew it, he was dashing down the halls and closing his bedroom door tightly behind him. 

His chest burned. Fire shot through his veins as he curled himself up into a ball beside his bed, rocking back and forth slowly. This was wrong. This was all wrong. He shouldn’t be here. He didn’t belong here. He wanted to be home. He wanted to be with Bolin. With Korra. With Asami. His missed his friends. His family. His life. His job. 

Suddenly, a wave of exhaustion passed over his body. He barely had time to register the nurse standing over him with the needle she had just pulled from his skin before he lapsed into unconsciousness.


	7. Chapter 7

“Good morning, dear.” Kiyi’s voice floated into Mako’s ears.

He forced his drooping eyes open to see the ceiling of his room, drab and boring as it was. 

“How are you feeling?” She asked, and Mako turned to see her settled into a chair by his bedside. 

“Fine.” He said groggily, turning back to the ceiling. “Can you leave?” 

“We need to talk first, Mako. Then you can have some alone time.” Kiyi insisted. “You had to be sedated to make sure that you didn’t hurt yourself.” She explained and Mako had to suppress a groan.

Of _course_ he had to be. 

“The scar tissue on your chest is quite extensive,” She continued. “We haven’t talked about how that happened yet.”

“It’s not important.” He answered gruffly. 

“You don’t sleep at night.” Kiyi sighed. “I can see it on your face. You’re plagued by nightmares.”

Mako didn’t answer, wrapping his hands in his blanket as she talked. 

“The only way to dismiss nightmares is to acknowledge them, Mako.” Kiyi pushed. 

“It doesn’t matter. Everyone has them.” Mako shrugged, his lips pursed with frustration. 

“That’s true, but not so frequently.” Kiyi explained. “I want to help you, dear. Please let me.”

Mako watched the ceiling in silence. Why? Why did she do this? Why was she so patient with him? He’d given her nothing but shit since the day he walked in.

“Why?” He finally asked. 

“Why what?” She asked patiently in return. 

“Why are you helping me?” He turned to face her, furrowing his brow. 

“It’s my job, Mako.” She chuckled softly, the wrinkles on her face rising. 

“No it’s not.” He shook his head. “You don’t _have_ to keep working with me. I’m stubborn, I’m rude, I’m down right uncooperative. So why do you keep trying to help?” He asked breathlessly. She should just give up on him. He wasn’t worth the effort. 

“You remind me of someone.” She smiled at him, with sad solace. “Someone who was twisted up in pain and hurt and didn’t know how to handle it. Someone who just needed someone to be there for them more than anything.”

“Your sister.” Mako turned back to the ceiling. “The one who chased shadows.” It had to be. Mako knew that more than anything, sibling love could be the most stubborn of all. 

“Yes,” Kiyi admitted. “You can recover from this, Mako. I promise you that.”

“But you want me to take drugs to do that.” He grumbled, folding his arms across his chest.

“Medication,” She corrected. “Isn’t as scary as it might seem. It helps so many people, dear. The only way to know if you’re one of them is for you to try it.”

Mako sucked in a heavy breath. If he wanted to get out of here and back to his life, he had to play their game. 

*

“Bolin?” A nurse called and Bolin’s head shot up. “Your brother’s ready to see you.”

His heart leapt out of his chest. It had been almost three weeks of trying to get in and see his brother. Three weeks since he found that note…

He followed the nurse down the hallway, practically vibrating with anticipation. He didn’t even care if Mako didn’t want to see him. It would be enough just to see him there.

The nurse opened the door to the common room and Bolin’s heart jumped for joy when his eyes caught on his brother sitting near the window. 

“Mako!” He cried out, tears already springing to his eyes. He rushed up on his brother, who was already on his feet with his arms spread wide. 

As he held his brother tight, Bolin couldn’t help the tears streaming down his cheeks. This hug felt different from the last one they shared. This one was...stronger. Safer.

“Hey, Bo.” Mako chuckled, squeezing his brother tight. Relief had flooded over him when he saw the face his brother made before barreling after him for a hug. He wasn’t angry. He was _happy_. 

“I’ve missed you so much, man.” Bolin sniffled as he released his brother and the duo sat down beside the window. “You look good, dude!” He wiped his eyes and looked over his brother. Mako seemed more like himself than Bolin had seen him in a long time. His body was filling out again. His eyes were more attentive. His smile seemed more than surface level. 

“I feel good,” Mako admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. 

“I’m so glad,” Bolin sniffled again. “I was so worried.”

“I was too,” Mako’s voice went quiet. “Bo, I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize,” Bolin’s big green eyes, swelled with tears, met Mako’s. “Not for anything.”

“I do.” Mako sighed, looking down at the floor. “I shouldn’t have left you like that. I shouldn’t have treated you that way. Agni, Bo, I’m so sorry.” Mako buried his face in his hands. 

Bolin gently pulled his brother’s hands away from his face. 

“Mako,” He cooed, giving his brother the very best puppy dog eyes he could manage. “It’s _okay_.” 

Mako smiled at his brother with sad eyes before Bolin wrapped his arms around him in another tight embrace. 

“I love you, Mako.” Bolin sniffled. 

“I love you, too, Bolin.” Mako hugged his brother tight. 

Bolin was more than excited to share in the adventures he’d undertaken on his way to the Fire Nation, and the trouble that Pabu had managed to get himself into. Mako felt something in his heart unclench. His brother really had forgiven him, just like that. No begging for mercy, no anger. Just love. 

When it was time for Bolin to leave, he made a promise to come in and see his brother three times a week at _least_ , and Mako honestly couldn’t have been happier with the deal. He needed him.

Bolin left with another hug, and Mako made his way back to his room, satisfied feeling in his gut. He had never expected their reunion to go so well.

Settling himself on his bed, he picked up the picture from his bedside and finally let it see the light of day again. A smile crossed his lips as he set it up on his nightstand, brushing bits of dust from the top.

He was going to see them all again. He was going to go home. 

A soft knock on the door pulled him back to reality. He rose slowly and opened it up, a nurse waiting for him on the other side. 

“Here’s today’s dose,” He cheerfully offered Mako the small cup of pills. “See you tomorrow, Mako!”

“See you tomorrow, Kupo.” Mako waved as the man continued his rounds. 

Mako shut the door softly behind him, staring at the pills in his hands. Kupo’s footsteps faded as he continued down the hall. 

Mako knelt at his bedside, carefully peeling the covers back. He took the pills into his hand and stuffed them tightly into the small slit in his mattress with the others.


	8. Chapter 8

“You’ve made great progress, Mako.” Kiyi noted, finishing her waterbending techniques and setting herself down slowly on the grass.

“Thank you.” Mako bowed to her and sat down in front of her. 

“However,” She continued and Mako groaned. “If you want to continue this successful path, you need to open up.”

Mako had to restrain himself from rolling his eyes. 

“Now don’t give me that look,” Kiyi chuckled, making no attempt to retain a stoic face. “The best treatment for any ailment of the mind is communication.” She held up a finger dramatically as she spoke. 

“But you said yourself I’m getting better,” He raised his eyebrows. 

“Better does _not_ mean best.” She returned his eyebrow raise. “Now,” She took his burned hand in hers. “Let’s start here.”

“You read my file.” Mako grumbled, only narrowly preventing himself from snatching his arm back. 

“That’s not what I was going to ask.” Kiyi scolded gently. “Does it ever give you any pain?”

“No.” Mako lied. 

“I don’t believe you.” Kiyi shot back.

“Fine, sometimes.” He admitted, taking his hand back.

“When does it hurt?” Kiyi asked, folding her hands patiently on her lap.

Mako thought for a second, trying to pick the perfect words. “When I think too much about it.”

“About your arm?” She asked, clearly prying. 

Mako had to admit. He’d grown fond of her company after the few weeks they’d spent together. He’d begun to tell her things he hadn’t told anyone else.

She was just so easy to talk to. She clearly cared what happened to him. She proved that by sticking with him.

He still didn’t know if he trusted her. He still thought that this was stupid. But, he _did_ enjoy having a friend like her. Someone he could talk to without fear of judgement. 

He knew logically that he should talk to her about the things that bothered him. But it was still so damn hard to do. He didn’t know why. It just was.

“When I think about what happened.” He sighed after a long silence.

Kiyi watched him expectantly as he fell silent again.

“I had to do it.” Mako looked down at the ground, watching as a turtleduck waddled up to him and snuggled in his lap. “I didn’t have a choice. The machine was going to level the city.”

Kiyi observed silently, offering only an encouraging look.

“I…I didn’t expect to make it out alive,” He recounted, petting the turtleduck gently with his scarred arm. “I thought I’d go down with the machine.”

“But you didn’t.” Kiyi cooed. “You’re still here, Mako.” 

“When that blast hit me in the chest,” His breathing hitched. “I thought I was done for.” The turtleduck snuggled into his hand, and Mako smiled despite himself. “Bolin pulled me out.” Mako continued. “He was there when I needed him.”

“Almost like he is now,” Kiyi encouraged.

“Yeah,” Mako smiled slightly. “I guess so. You know,” He breathed. “I wasn’t afraid of dying. I—I was afraid of leaving him behind.”

“I see.” Kiyi nodded slowly. “Living for someone is a good thing. But, you need to learn to live for _yourself_.” 

Mako fell silent again. She didn’t understand. It was his job to protect Bolin, his whole life. Now, it’s his job to protect as many people as he could. He wasn’t supposed to live for himself. He wasn’t worth that.

“Do you remember how we talked about perspective, Mako?” Kiyi asked, and Mako nodded. “About how sometimes, trauma can skew our perspective?” Mako nodded again. “It doesn’t just apply to how we see others and the world, dear. It also applies to how we see ourselves.”

Mako swallowed hard.

“Your whole life, you’ve been the protector. You’ve been the big brother. You don’t see yourself as someone to take care of, but as someone who takes care of others.” Kiyi continued. “You have to admit, that isn’t a healthy way to live.”

Mako said nothing. He only stared at the turtleduck in his lap as he pet its feathers. 

“Consider this perspective,” Kiyi offered. “Your little brother went nights on end without food, simply because he worried there wasn’t enough for both of you.”

Mako’s brow furrowed deeper. 

“Not because you didn’t offer, but because he didn’t want to accept. How would that make you feel?” Kiyi asked. 

“I wouldn’t let him do that.” Mako growled, the very thought making him angry.

“Then why is it fair for you to do the same for him?” Kiyi asked quietly and Mako’s heart dropped.

_Oh._

“It’s not the same,” He grumbled.

“Of course it isn’t,” Kiyi shook her head. “But the concept remains. You give and you give, but never take. It hurts those around you that have to watch you suffer.”

Mako’s shoulders tensed. Of course he’d thought about it, but…it never really mattered. Someone always needed it more.

But he had seen the way Bolin had worried. The way that Korra, Asami, and even Tenzin worried. 

Maybe, just _maybe_ Kiyi was a little bit right.

*

Bolin knew that visiting his brother in a mental care facility wasn’t _typically_ a good thing, but every time he got to go to visiting hours, he could hardly contain his excitement.

Seeing Mako was a good thing unto itself. But seeing Mako _recovering_? Getting just a _little_ bit better every time he came to visit?

Well, he figured that was cause enough for celebration.

Mako still didn’t tell him much about what went on in the facility, but Bolin didn’t mind much. He found a way to fill the time with stories about double dates with him and Opal, Korra, and Asami. Stories about Varrick’s latest creation. Hell, they had even taken to play Pai Sho. Bolin never won, but he didn’t care. He got to see his brother--his brother _happy_ , again. 

But this visit was different. Korra and Asami were with him.

And they were there to take Mako home.

Bolin could hardly contain his excitement when Mako told him the good news. His therapist had told him that he was making excellent progress. That his brother was ready to get back on his feet.

It was even harder to contain his excitement now, as they neared the door of the facility. Bolin clutched tightly to the specially ordered bag of Mako’s favorite dumplings as the trio made their way inside. 

What Bolin _wasn’t_ excited for was the look on the nurse’s face when she saw them.

“We’re here to pick up my brother!” Bolin shook off the nurse’s sorrowful eyes as they approached her. 

“Please come with me,” The nurse said quietly and gestured them off to a side room.

The trio exchanged a worried glance before following her down the hall.

She shut the door softly behind them and gestured for them to take a seat.

A nervous shiver went up Bolin’s spine. 

The nurse sat down at the desk, folding her hands neatly in front of her.

“Your brother,” She took a deep breath, her sad eyes meeting Bolin’s. “He’s relapsed. He tried to attack an orderly and another patient. We’ve had to restrain him and put him in solitary confinement for the time being.”

Bolin couldn’t hear anything besides the ringing in his ears and the dumplings hitting the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp. Yeah. Sorry for the heartbreak. I'd like to say this is the worst of it but........
> 
> Man, I'm a writing _machine_ this week. I've cranked out so many chapters, it's insane! So hopefully more updates will be available really soon! It's amazing what you can accomplish when you're supposed to be doing other things!
> 
> You guys. Seriously. The Kudos and the comments? AHHHHH!!! Thank you so so so MUCH! The fact that you take time out of your day to read my story, then you take even _more_ time to help me with feedback??? Y'all are so amazing. Thank you so much. Seriously, sending so much love your way!!
> 
> Also, I'm sorry that the therapy scenes haven't been particularly interesting, and Mako may be more than slightly out of character for some of it, but I'm chalking it up to emotional trauma and the stress of being in a care facility. Anyway, I promise that things are going to get a _lot_ more.... a lot from here on out lol. 
> 
> Thanks for sticking around, and thank you for all of the comments and Kudos, they make my day!!!!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey hey hey! Sorry that it's taken me so long to update, but these couple chapters have been really hard for me to write, and for pretty obvious reasons. I'm still not super happy about the way that they've turned out, but hey. They may be trash, but they're _your_ trash now.

This wasn’t the _worst_ situation Mako had found himself in. 

Sure, he wasn’t too fond of the fact that they wanted him medicated. And sure, he didn’t particularly like the restrictions. And they could absolutely be doing things a little bit different here.

But hey, he used to live on the _streets_ for Agni’s sake. Anything was a step up from that. Even if he had to talk about his ‘feelings’ sometimes. 

Besides, he got to leave tomorrow. _Tomorrow_. He had never been more excited for something in his life. 

He and Kiyi had talked it over in painstaking detail. She agreed to let Mako go if he agreed to continue taking his meds and talking to people when he was upset, and he had to set up regular appointments with a therapist in Republic City. 

They weren’t his favorite terms, sure. But at least he got to leave. 

Stuffing his hands in his pockets, he made his way out of the bathroom in the hallway, his eyes adjusting slowly to the darkness. 

He felt the hairs stand up on the back of his neck. 

Not again. 

Sucking in a deep breath, he willed himself forward. He just had to get back to his room. 

This wasn’t his first run-in with the shadows since he’d been in the facility. They’d haunted him since he arrived, watching him from the windows.

He’d learned to ignore them, with Kiyi’s help. He didn’t talk much about them to her, but she had known in the beginning when his eyes would dart off into the distance suddenly. She knew from his file.

He’d learned to pretend they weren’t there. If he didn’t, Kiyi would’ve known he wasn’t taking his medication. And there was no way in _hell_ he was going to take the medication. 

So, Mako did what he usually did. He counted the floor tiles as he walked down the hallway, focusing his energy on how many went past as he walked. It usually seemed to help him forget about what lurked in the shadows. 

The scream down the hall, however, did _not_. 

Mako’s head shot up, eyes darting to the end of the hall. 

“Someone, _please!_ ” Ama shouted from the end of the hall. 

Mako sprung into action, his shoes squeaking against the tiles as he raced down the hall. 

As he turned the corner, he froze in his tracks. Ama was being suffocated by one of the shadow men. 

“Mako, help!” She cried, trying to pry the tentacle-like appendage off her neck. 

This wasn’t real. It wasn’t. He...he wasn’t sure. 

“Mako!” She wailed and Mako was pulled back to reality. He had to do something. 

“Stay away from her!” He snarled, taking a defensive pose. 

The shadow didn’t move.

“I said, _get off!_ ” Mako lunged at the figure, throwing his entire body weight into the blow as they crashed to the floor. He rolled to the side and scrambled to his feet, desperately trying to regain his footing. The shadow was on its feet as well, squaring up to face off with him.

 _Holy shit_. Mako had just grabbed the thing. It hit the ground with him. It was _real_.

The shadow shot a tentacle in Mako’s direction, and without thinking he shot off a fireball to block the blow. It screeched in anguish and withdrew its tendril as Mako swept its lower half with his leg.

It clambered to the ground as Mako stood over it, readying another blow. He wasn’t going to let this thing get away. Not this time.

He raised a fired fist as the shadow hissed, drawing back its appendages with ghoulish precision. Mako didn’t have time to react as the tentacles shot up at his chest, directly onto his scarred flesh.

His breath left his body in a whoosh as he was thrown backwards towards the wall. Struggling to regain his composure, he blinked hard and scrambled onto his knees. 

“Mako, _stop!_ ” Mako blinked again and raised his head to find Kupo standing over him, extending a freshly burned arm out to ward him off.

Ama was curled into a ball in the corner, staring at him with wildly fearful eyes.

There was no sign of the shadow.

Where it once stood was only Kupo, fearful and burned.

Fuck.

“Wait,” Mako breathed, struggling to his feet. “Wait, wha--”

Footsteps thundered down the hall. Mako’s hands were snatched up as he was wrapped up tightly in a straight jacket.

“No, no wait!” Mako shouted, trying in vain to pull his arms back into his control. “Ama, you saw what happened! Tell them!” He cried out, trying to ignore the way she flinched when her name left his lips.

A knee to Mako’s back sent him tumbling to the ground. He could barely register the chatter around him as he fought back desperately.

“No!” He cried out. “No, you don’t understand! They were _here!_ I was protecting her!” He screamed and squirmed on the ground. 

A knee on his back sent the air straight out of his lungs. This wasn’t happening. They just didn’t understand. They weren’t _listening_ to him.

“No!” He cried out again, a small flame shooting from his lips with the effort. 

Strong hands lifted his head from the ground and a muzzle was forced over his head.

*

Padded walls.

Mako breathed in, focusing on the soft surface underneath him.

Scorch marks.

Mako breathed out, pushing away the fire damage lining the room from another patient long ago.

Distant screams.

Mako shut his eyes tighter, trying to block them out.

Breathe in. 

Breathe out.

Mako forced the air in and out of his lungs, curling his hands tighter on his lap. He just had to focus. Center himself. Push the world away. Ignore everything that was going wrong. Find his balance.

The slot in the door slammed open and Mako’s eyes shot open. 

“Stand by the door, hands behind your back.” The orderly said gruffly.

Mako rose quietly and gracefully, folding his hands neatly behind his back as he approached the door, trying to keep his heart from racing.

“Turn around.” The man ordered and Mako turned slowly and carefully. 

The door creaked open and Mako’s wrists were quickly bound in handcuffs. He sucked in a deep breath.

“If you don’t cause any trouble, we’ll take these off. Understood?” The orderly asked, taking Mako by the shoulder and turning him around.

“Understood.” Mako replied softly and the orderly shuffled him out the door.

Deep breath in, deep breath out. Ignore the handcuffs. Ignore the way that the staff is looking.

The orderly led Mako down the hall and out into the courtyard.

Breathe in, breathe out.

Kiyi was sitting there, turned away from him. She watched the turtleducks as they swam in circles.

The orderly ushered for him to take a seat, and Mako complied slowly. As he sat down beside her, he could see Kiyi’s face contorted in hurt.

“Hello, Mako.” She smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. 

“Kiyi, it’s not what you think, I swear--” Mako started, but cut himself off as Kiyi remained motionless, staring at the pond. 

He failed her. He failed his brother. He failed _everyone_. As much as he wanted to believe he was right about the shadows. As much as he wanted to believe that what he had done wasn’t what everyone thought…

Hot tears welled in his eyes. Just when he thought he had found his way, he was hopelessly lost again. 

“Mako,” Kiyi cleared her throat. “Many people have the misconception that progress is linear.” She started and Mako furrowed his brow. That’s...not what he expected.

“Regression is natural and temporary. No one can take away the progress you have made, Mako. Not even you. Not if you don’t let anything take it. You’ve worked very hard.”

Mako looked down at the ground, silent tears beginning to spill down his cheeks. 

“You’re a strong and brave young man,” She continued. “You have been through hardships some people can hardly imagine, yet you have persevered through them with courage and grace,” She turned to him. “Mako, don’t give up.” She said, tears sparkling in her eyes. “I won’t give up on you, and you cannot give up on yourself.”

Mako sniffled, trying desperately to control himself. Regain his composure. He couldn’t break. He _wouldn’t_ break. 

When a turtleduckling nuzzled itself against his shoe, something inside him collapsed.

He couldn’t hold back the sobs that escaped his throat. He didn’t _want_ to. 

His head hung low, hands bound behind him, all Mako wanted to do was cry. 

So he did. 

He cried tears of joy for Kiyi’s compassion. He cried tears of heartache of being away from his brother for so long. He cried tears of fear for Kupo and Ama. He cried tears of pain for Kuvira and all of the damage she had done. He cried tears of loss for his parents. 

Mako curled up on his side and sobbed.

When he ran out of tears to cry, he sniffled and sat himself upright again.

“I think that was long overdue,” Kiyi noted, not a hint of judgment in her voice.

*

Mako sat motionless on his bed, trying to force his eyes to close. He couldn’t stop watching the hole in the wall where his door should’ve been. 

He apparently had door privileges revoked after the incident. Still beat padded walls, but he couldn’t help but feel on edge. 

Kiyi had thought that his 'episode', as she called it, was due to him stressing himself out over returning home. Truth be told, he was ecstatic to be returning. Now, though…

He grumbled and forced himself to roll away from having the door in his direct line of sight. 

He was safe here. The guards wouldn’t let anything in. The shadows….they weren’t going to hurt him unless he hurt them. At least, that’s what he had to tell himself. 

Snuggling up on his side, he couldn’t help but turn over the events of the last day in his mind. Tackling the shadow. Kupo’s horrified face. Spending hours in the padded room. Breaking down in front of Kiyi. 

He didn’t even want to _think_ about how Bolin was feeling. He didn’t know how much information the facility had given his baby brother, but he knew how much he had to have been freaking out. Mako didn’t know how to face him. Kiyi had told him that if he kept on his best behavior, he could be out of the facility in another two weeks. Especially if he “kept up” with the new medication. 

Mako didn’t know how to feel about any of it. He had pondered for a second before shoving the pills into his mattress, trying to convince himself he had to keep his mind sharp and off the medication, but the nagging voice in the back of his head told him that maybe he stashed the meds because he didn’t _want_ to get better.

Mako was petrified of the outside world. The things he had been through. The things that still lurked around every corner. 

Most of all, he was terrified of facing the ones he loved. How would they treat him when he returned? Would he be nothing but damaged goods to them? Or worse, would they be _afraid_ of him?

Mako sighed heavily and shook off the thoughts. He couldn’t afford to think like that. He had to focus himself on recovering, not what happened once he was released. One step at a time, that’s what Kiyi told him.

Mako breathed heavily again. He knew he wasn’t going to sleep that night. The option to take a walk was out of the question, especially after what had happened the last time. So there he lay, trying to silence his brain. 

Until the hairs on the back of his neck stood on end once again. 

Mako forced his eyes to stay shut. Don’t engage. Don’t give it the satisfaction. 

Warm breath tickled the back of his neck. 

This was just his imagination.

A tendril wrapped itself around Mako’s upper arm.

He forced himself to breathe.

“Mako? Everything okay in here? I heard some—“ An orderly stopped in the door and froze as he saw the figure looming over the firebender’s bed. “Agni protect me,” The orderly breathed and Mako kept his eyes squeezed shut. 

This was all in his head. It was going to be over soon. 

The shadow’s arm unwrapped itself from Mako’s arm and slunk across the room, towards the stunned orderly. 

Do not engage. 

Every part of Mako’s being screamed at him to stay still, to ignore the twisted figments of his mind.

Still, as he heard the panicked voice of the orderly, Mako couldn’t help but sit up and slam on the “call help” button by his bedside. 

The shadow twisted around at Mako in surprise, before quickly turning its attention back to the orderly who started to step backwards into the doorway cautiously.

Mako watched with wide eyes as the orderly fell to his knees as the shadow approached. 

“ _Please,_ spare me! I’m begging you!” The man cried out as the shadow drew nearer. 

The smell of burnt flesh radiated through the room as fire shot from the shadow’s tendrils. 

Mako shut his eyes tight, trying his hardest not to gag. This wasn’t real. None of this was real. It just wasn’t. 

“Hello, Mako! Did you need—AGNI!” The orderly that responded to his call button nearly fell to the floor at the sight of the charred body in Mako’s doorway. 

Mako forced his eyes open, and just like he expected, the shadow was long gone.


	10. Chapter 10

Kiyi nearly dropped the phone when she received the call. 

Her poor, sweet Mako.

She hurriedly threw on her uniform and raced to the facility, forcing back the tears in her eyes. 

She didn’t want to believe it. Mako wouldn’t murder an orderly like that. It wasn’t in his nature. 

And yet, when she neared the facility, she could see the body bag being wheeled out the front doors and into the ambulance. 

A sob escaped from her throat.

She pushed her way past the growing crowd and in through the front doors, only to be stopped by the guards at the front desk. 

“I need to see my patient.” She demanded, but they didn’t budge. 

“Sorry, Kiyi. He’s been transferred. He’s out of your care now.” The guard gulped, not looking the older woman in the eyes.

“ _Transferred?_ To where?” She folded her arms across her chest. 

“Maximum security wing.” The guard sighed and Kiyi’s breath left her body. 

_No._

*

“Hey,” Asami prodded at Bolin’s arm when she noticed he had barely touched his noodles. “Not hungry, Bolin?”

Bolin simply shook his head, poking at the noodles in his bowl. 

“Maybe you want a roll instead?” Korra slid the basket towards him. 

Bolin shook his head again, still staring down at the noodles.

Korra and Asami shared a worried glance. This wasn’t like their friend at all. Even in the most dire of situations, Bolin _always_ had something to say.

“You should really eat something,” Asami cooed, laying a gentle hand on his arm.

Bolin dropped his chopsticks in the bowl and pushed the bowl slightly away from himself.

“Bolin, I know you’re upset, but--”

“No,” Bolin snapped, folding his arms across his chest. “I’m not upset. I’m _furious_.”

“Bolin, you know—“ Korra started, but was quickly interrupted again. 

“No!” Bolin shouted. “No, I don’t know anything! Why is he doing this, Korra?! Why?!” He screamed, ignoring the fearful eyes watching him from all over the restaurant. “I know it’s not his fault, but—“   
Bolin broke down sobbing. Korra and Asami wrapped their arms around him, cradling him into a tight hug. 

“I just miss him,” He cried, burying his head in his hands. 

“I know, I know.” Asami carded her fingers through his hair. “We all miss him.”

*

“You know this isn’t right.” Kiyi growled, gripping the handle of her chair tightly. “If you just give me more time with him, I _know_ I can make a difference. He’s already made so much progress, this is only going to set him back.”

Kiyi was practically fuming. She hadn’t lost her temper like this in a good long time, but she figured that this was as good an exception as any. 

She was getting through to Mako. She just had to get the director of the facility to see that. 

“Kiyi,” Director Hahn sighed deeply, knitting his hands together on top of his desk. “You know that I have the utmost respect for you. The work you’ve done here has been absolutely invaluable. But,” Kiyi huffed as he paused. “ _But,_ ” He continued. “This case is out of your hands. The kid’s dangerous, Kiyi. The last thing I need is you getting hurt. Your brother would have my head.”

“Mako won’t hurt me,” Kiyi insisted. “He trusts me. He’s opened up to me. You want to take that away from him when he needs it most?” 

Director Hahn pinched the bridge of his nose. “He’s going to help a lot of people with these experimental treatments. You said yourself in your reports that the medication alone didn’t seem to have the desired effects on him. It’s obvious that he needs to be kept under close watch, and we know so little about the hallucinations that—“

“Exactly. That’s why I should continue to treat him.” Kiyi said firmly, narrowing her eyes at the director. 

“ _Kiyi_ ,” Director Hahn commanded. “He burned an orderly and _killed_ another. It doesn’t matter whether or not you think he’ll attack you, because frankly I don’t _care_ what you think about that. You’ve been blindsided by your connection with him, and I won’t allow you to get hurt because of that. My word on the matter is final.” 

Kiyi stared at the man in disbelief and anger. 

“You know that what they do in there is unethical, to say the very least. How can you allow a young man to have his life _ruined_ , and for what?”

“For science.” Director Hahn shot back. “To save lives. To save _innocent_ lives. Mako’s a _killer_ , Kiyi. At least this was his life can mean something.”

Kiyi’s mouth hung open in absolute anger and shock.

“You have other patients to attend to. I recommend you see to them and forget about this kid. It’s out of your hands, Kiyi.”

Kiyi narrowed her eyes, doing everything in her power not to spit on the man, and slammed the door shut behind her as she left. 

“She really does have her bloodline’s temper,” Director Hahn sighed as he finished signing Mako’s transfer paperwork. 

*

Mako had always prided himself for his ability to keep his cool. No matter how much trouble Bolin got himself into, no matter how many enemies he was up against--he was always able to keep his cool.   
Now? Unable to feel his hands in the straightjacket, muzzle sitting tightly over his face, being led into the unknown by two orderlies on each side-- Mako was scared shitless. 

Mako knew they wouldn’t listen to him when he told them about the shadows. He knew they would lock him up in the underbelly of the facility if he so much as breathed a _word_ of the shadows to the staff.

So he stayed silent.

Silent as they dragged him into the padded room once again. Silent as they drugged him to sedate him. Silent as fearful tears sprung to his eyes.

“Right in here,” The doctor ahead of the group motioned to an empty examination room. The orderlies unceremoniously pushed Mako inside and situated him on the chair, carefully removing the straightjacket and shackling his wrists to the table’s sides. 

To say that Mako was humiliated was an understatement.

One orderly remained in the room, standing guard at the door. The doctor took his seat across from Mako, shuffling through the papers in his hands.

Mako scanned the room, out of habit if nothing else. Everything remained strictly out of his reach, he figured on purpose. All of the examination tools were locked up safely in the cabinets, security glass allowing him to peer through. A shiver ran down his spine as he saw the syringes. The last thing he needed was to be sedated again.

“So,” The doctor pushed the glasses up his face. “Mako, right? I’m Doctor Jae.”

Mako pulled his attention back to the doctor, remaining stoically still.

“Right,” The doctor cleared his throat. “It seems to me that you’ve made a lot of great progress with Kiyi. However, I only see a few mentions of the shadows you’re seeing, and none of them are from you.”

Mako maintained his fixation on the doctor’s eyes, his breathing even and controlled. He knew what would happen if he talked. He wasn’t even sure how clear he could speak with the muzzle on anyway.

“Tell me Mako, when do you see the shadows? Do they tell you to do things?” Dr. Jae asked, folding his hands on top of the papers in his lap.

Mako remained silent, staring into the doctor’s eyes, blinking slowly.

“This is going to be a lot easier if you talk to me,” Dr. Jae pushed, returning Mako’s gaze.

“Mako,” The doctor said, an edge to his voice that unsettled Mako. “We know little about the psychosis you suffer from, and we know even less about how to treat it. If you cooperate, you’ll be able to help a lot of people. Thousands of people. For _generations_. You want to help people, don’t you?”

Mako froze.

Breathe in. 

Breathe out. 

Mako watched the doctor with careful eyes. 

“Establishing proper treatment is essential to help save countless lives, you see.” Dr. Jae continued, remaining as stoic as his patient.

After a solid minute of the staring contest, Dr. Jae finally relented and sighed heavily.

“Of course, of course. I understand.” Dr. Jae shook his head. “Orderly, can you please take the muzzle off my patient?”

“Doctor, we really advise--” The orderly protested, but Dr. Jae raised a silencing hand.

“This is about creating mutual trust between me and Mako.” Dr. Jae insisted, maintaining his gaze on Mako.

His eyes were cold. Mako could practically _hear_ him thinking ‘don’t test me’.

The orderly hesitantly removed Mako’s muzzle, and Mako pretended not to notice his shaking fingers.

Mako didn’t break eye contact with the doctor. 

“Now then,” Dr. Jae cleared his throat and cocked an eyebrow. I scratch your back, you scratch mine. We talk more about the shadows, you get more freedoms. I’m not a harsh man, Mako. Not if I don’t have to be.”

Mako furrowed his brow, his lips still pursed together.

“Well,” The doctor cleared his throat and shook his head. “This has been productive. Maybe you’ll be in the mood to talk tomorrow, huh?”

Mako blinked hard at the man, still remaining perfectly poised and still.

“Right. Tomorrow then. Tonight I guess we’ll just have to try a new medication that might make you a little more compliant.” Dr. Jae stood up and Mako’s fists instinctively curled slightly, tugging on the chains.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Mako forced himself to exhale slowly as the orderly unstrapped his arms and tucked them back into the straightjacket.


	11. Chapter 11

Mako officially decided that he hated the examination room. It was bad enough being stuck in a room with Dr. Jae, but being stuck in a mundane and _windowless_ room with Dr. Jae? Mako decided it was less than ideal.

At least back in his own padded cell, he was allowed out of the straightjacket. He was allowed to sit in Agni’s glow that peeked in through his small window. He could sit and practice his breathing exercises that Kiyi had taught him. He could try and ignore all of the shit that went wrong. He could try and forget the fact that the drugs they had pumping through his system left him...numb.

But there was little he could do besides attempt to maintain composure while he was in the examination room. He could focus on Dr. Jae, or he could focus on the syringes that lay in the locked cabinet, far from his reach.

After two weeks of saying nothing at all, he figured that the syringes were a better option than Dr. Jae. The man was becoming increasingly frustrated as Mako fell silent. Mako had decided from the very first day that there was nothing the man could do that would make him talk about the shadows. He didn’t need to be a lab rat. He just needed to be left alone.

Left alone to the fog that clouded his every thought, his every movement, his everything. 

Some days it was worse than others. He’d get lost completely in the fog, his mind slowing to a halt. He couldn’t keep himself in the moment.

“We’re changing up your treatment.” Dr. Jae entered the room in a rush, sitting himself down in his chair in anger, drawing Mako slowly from his thoughts. “You haven’t been responding well to the drugs, and you still refuse to talk to me.” He stated the obvious, and Mako simply raised an eyebrow. “Let’s get him to the lab.” Dr. Jae nodded to the orderly, who started unshackling Mako’s wrists.

Mako hardly even registered the event, his eyes fixed on the sedatives in the cabinet.

The doctor led them down a series of halls, and Mako was plopped down on a large chair in the center of a dark room, filled with whirring electronics. 

His groggy brain tried to keep up with the orderlies as they strapped him into the chair and Dr. Jae started meticulously sticking diodes all over his head. 

“The more you struggle, the worse this is going to be, Mako.” Dr. Jae warned, sticking the last one on Mako’s temple. 

The young firebender narrowed his eyes, trying to comprehend what was going on.

“We’re going to try electroshock therapy now.” Mako could’ve sworn he saw a smile on Dr. Jae’s face as he stepped out of the room and into the glass observation area with the two orderlies. 

“Wait,” Mako’s voice was hoarse and scratchy as he pulled at the restraints. “Wait, no!” He yelped a little louder, arms slowly complying as he fought against the shackles. 

“I read your file. I know how you feel about lighting, but sometimes we have to face our fears to defeat them.” Dr. Jae said innocently, readying the machine. “Besides, this could cure your delusions, Mako. Isn’t this a risk worth taking?”

“Please, don’t do this!” Mako growled, blinking hard and trying desperately to shake the diodes off his head. 

“Ah, I almost forgot,” Dr. Jae released his grip from the on-switch. The room fell silent and Mako could hear only his frantic breathing as a small smile passed the doctor’s lips. “Gag him.”

“No!” Mako howled, rubbing his wrists and ankles raw against the shackles holding him down. 

An orderly patiently steadied his thrashing head as another slipped the gag into his mouth. The both left in a hurry as Mako continued to struggle in vain. 

“Remember what I said about struggling,” Dr. Jae sighed as he switched on the machine.

Mako’s muffled screams pierced through the silent halls of the maximum security unit. 

*

Mako was growing accustomed to the way that nothing felt. The way that his body took too long to follow his commands. The way that thoughts came slow and infrequently. 

Back when he wasn’t under constant sedation, he couldn’t have imagined a worse fate. 

But to have the nothing stripped away and replaced with a white hot agony? 

Mako had never wished for death more. 

As electricity coursed through his veins, Mako wasn’t even sure that he _was_ alive. His eyes shut tightly, his whole body tensed, but still the world spun around him.  
Suddenly he was back in the chamber. He was sending electricity through his entire being. 

He could remember the blinding pain. The way that the raw power filled his every fiber, the way that it burned. He felt his arm char all over again. He felt the lighting from the spirit vines come crashing straight into his chest. 

But this time, he didn’t pass out. This time, he was strapped tight to a chair, an audience watching him curiously and studiously.

Mako tried desperately to ignore the fire searing every inch of his being.

He was back fighting Tokuga, head to head. The half-man, half-spirit wrapped a tentacle around Mako’s neck, and wrapped another around Mako’s injured arm. Mako cried out as the spirit gripped the throbbing burn tightly as Mako struggled to fill his lungs. 

The firebender finally summoned the strength to shoot a burst of fire at the man, sending him reeling back and releasing his hold on Mako. 

Mako crashed to the ground, gasping for air and cradling his injured arm to his chest as Tokuga took off into the spirit vines. 

This time, Mako couldn’t fill his lungs with air. The electricity held onto his body as he gasped for oxygen. 

*

King Wu was a man of theatrics. That was no surprise to anyone that knew him -- or even knew _of_ him. 

The theatrics were lost as he sat in the dark and colorless room, waiting for them to bring Mako in.

The facility had been adamant about not letting Mako have _any_ visitors, but they couldn’t exactly say no to the Earth King himself.

When Korra, Asami, and Bolin schemed to find a way to see how Mako was doing, Wu was the first to volunteer, despite the gnawing pit in his stomach. He hadn’t known how to prepare himself to see his friend this way.

When Mako was brought in, arms tucked in tight to his straightjacket, muzzle tightly around his face, an eerie stillness in his eyes and uncharacteristic lack of poise to his walk--Wu realized that there was nothing that he could have done to prepare himself for this.

He swallowed hard as Mako practically fell into the chair across the table from him. He knew logically that firebenders were naturally more pale, but Mako’s complexion was… _sickly_. Mako’s eyes refused to meet his, but Wu had a sinking feeling that they weren’t the same either.

“Can uh,” Wu cleared his throat awkwardly. “Can we get this muzzle off him?” 

“For your own safety, we really don’t recommend it.” An orderly shrugged, standing guard at the door.

“Let me rephrase that,” Wu knitted his brows together and sat up straight. “ _Please_ take this muzzle off my friend.”

The orderly begrudgingly complied, but Mako’s eyes didn’t leave the table, his head still hung low.

Wu wanted to pat himself on the back for intimidating the guard, but he couldn’t take his eyes off Mako’s sullen form in front of him. He was slumped low, his shoulders lax and his hair a tousled mess. If Wu didn’t know any better, he would’ve been convinced that the man in front of him was someone completely different.

“Hey, Mako,” Wu chuckled nervously. “How ya doing, buddy?”

Mako’s head slowly rose until his eyes met the Earth King’s.

Wu felt his heart shatter as he saw the emptiness in his friend’s eyes.

“You have to get me out of here.” Mako’s scratchy and hoarse voice was nearly inaudible. If Wu hadn’t been sitting four feet across from him, he wasn’t even sure he would have noticed the other man’s voice at all.

“Are they treating you okay in here?” Wu asked, leaning in closer.

Mako shook his head almost imperceptibly. 

“Mako,” Wu swallowed hard again, tears welling in his eyes. “Is...is it true? What happened?”

Mako shook his head again slowly. Wu let out a breath he hadn’t known he was holding in.

“You have to get me out.” Mako repeated, his resolve growing slowly.

“I can’t just--”

“ _Please_.” Mako’s empty eyes begged, his shoulders sinking lower. 

Wu swallowed hard, forcing a deep breath. “I’ll try, Mako. I will.”

Mako nodded blearily, a semblance of a smile crossing his face.

“Bolin, Korra, and Asami all say hello. They miss you.” Wu added, smiling nervously. He immediately regretted his actions as Mako’s shoulders stiffened and he returned his gaze to the table between them.

“Tell them I’m sorry.” He whispered, shaking his head.

“They know, Mako. It’s okay.” Wu assured him, offering a supportive but solemn smile.

“Keep them safe, okay?” Mako met the Earth King’s eyes again, sorrow filling the empty space behind them. 

“I will, Mako. I will.” Wu steadied himself and swore to his friend. 

“Time’s up,” The orderly latched the muzzle back onto Mako’s face and grabbed him up by the shoulder.

As he was led out the door, he shot one last glance at his friend.

_Promise me._

*

Mako was in a haze. The days passed, but he didn’t know how many. The treatments continued, and he lost count. He’d be thrown into the chair, zapped until he couldn’t take it anymore, then thrown back into his cell.

Dr. Jae was less than thrilled that Mako was still less than compliant. Mako felt no sympathy for him. Mako didn’t feel much of anything at all.

There was one thing that he knew. He couldn’t take this much longer. 

The longer he went without a release date, the more his little bit of hope dwindled away.

He sat in his cell in silence, focusing his energy on the moon’s rays that peeked through his window. In the night there was stillness. In the night, there was silence. There was no Agni beaming her warmth down on him. Mako was fully and truly _alone_. 

Through the muddled mess of his mind, he sought out a solution, but came up short. At least Wu would protect his family. They would be okay without him.

He wondered if he would ever see the outside world again. He wondered if it was even worth it anymore. Even if Wu could get him out, he would be feared. He would be ridiculed behind closed doors. He would still be _alone_.

With a heavy heart, Mako shifted slightly on his stiff bed. He wasn’t even sure that he was _Mako_ anymore.

A soft knock at his door split the haze in his mind. He sat up slowly, raising his hands above his head, as per usual. Part of him wanted to lay back down. Let them come. See what he cared.

The door creaked open slowly, and Mako raised an eyebrow. Something was off. As the door cracked open, a body fell unceremoniously inside.

Mako jumped to his feet. Slowly and cautiously, he creeped closer until he could see the bound hands and feet of one unconscious Dr. Jae. His breath hitched and he felt his heart stop beating.  
A shadowy appendage slinked through the open door and Mako took a half-step backwards. The shadow pushed the door open further, but came no closer. 

Mako could feel his heart pounding in his throat as he watched the being stare him down before beckoning for him to follow. 

The shadow disappeared quickly down the hall and Mako stayed rooted to the cell. He swallowed hard, looking over Dr. Jae’s sleeping form. Waves of pain and lightning flashed through his mind before he took a hesitant step over his body and out the cell’s door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really wasn't lying to you when I told you there was gonna be angst in this story. If you're not feeling the angst by this point, I don't know what to tell you.  
> Also, I just want to point out that in this story, mental health care is abysmally new. These mfs know _nothing_ about how to treat mental illness. As evidenced by the...everything. I was kind of basing this on the knowledge that we had in the 1920s, which is roughly what the Korra universe kind of looks like. If you're upset by the treatment of Mako lately...yeah me too lmao.   
> I've said it before and I'll say it again **this story has a happy ending, I swear.** It's just gonna be a while.  
> Also HOLY SHIT????? Y'all are so incredibly supportive?????? Oh my god, thank you all so much for your wonderful wonderful comments and Kudos!!!!! I'm so glad to see that y'all are enjoying the story, and even though it might take me a while _I will be finishing this story._. It's a story that I needed to hear, so I hope that maybe you need to hear it too.   
> In the meantime between updates, I just want to tell y'all again. Seriously. Thank you so much. You're all incredible, and I so appreciate all of you taking the time to read this. I APPRECIATE YOU!!!!!!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW has it been too long since I've updated! So sorry for the delays, I've had a wild ride between hospital visits, finals, and everything in between. But, like I said, I'm _finishing this damn story_. Even if it takes way longer than I'd like. So, I hope you enjoy the next installment, and I'll see you soon for the next update!

The halls of maximum security were eerie enough during the day, but nothing was quite as unnerving as the hallways lit only by the moonlight. 

Mako stumbled slightly as he tried to slip through the halls undetected, guided only by the shadow zipping at the end of the maze of doors and tiles. 

Truth be told, he had no idea what he was doing. Hell, he had no idea if this was even really _happening_ anymore. All he knew was one foot in front of the other. 

*

Kiyi was devastated. They wouldn’t even let her see her poor boy. Mako had to be so scared and alone, subject to only Agni knew at the hands of Doctor Jae. She shivered at the very name. 

Despite her best efforts, she could never get any solid evidence on Jae to take him down. All of his patients mysteriously turned up dead, or locked so far into the facility that they probably would’ve been better off dead anyway. 

Kiyi sighed, burying her head in her hands. She failed the poor kid. She told him she wouldn’t give up on him. What did he think now?

Kiyi ran her hand along the edge of Mako’s old bed as she sat atop it, trying desperately not to think about what they were doing to him in maximum security. 

Mako had been doing so well in her care. He made such good progress. What had happened to him? What had changed?

Her heart caught in her chest as something clattered to the floor. Curiously, she stood up to see a singular pill resting on the floor just beneath the bed. 

She grabbed it off the floor, immediately recognizing the shape and color. 

This was Mako’s medication. 

She ran her fingers along the edge of the bed, carefully looking for where the pill could’ve been hidden, a sinking feeling in her gut that there were more.

Her heart dropped when she found the slit in the mattress, stuffed to the brim with the small pills. 

Mako hadn’t been taking the medication. Based on how many pills there were, she guessed he hadn’t taken any at all. 

Her nerves steeling, she walked with purpose in every step towards the high security ward. Mako didn’t need to be there. He needed another chance at the medication. 

She stormed into Dr. Jae’s office with a righteous fury, but came up empty. It wasn’t like Jae to not be there in the odd hours of the night. The man was so engulfed in his work he hardly ever left. 

She searched his empty office for any trace of him. Nothing. Well, nothing but a rustled stack of papers and a slightly misplaced chair. Kiyi narrowed her eyes. This wasn’t like Jae at _all_. 

She sighed heavily, uneasy feeling gnawing at her stomach once again. She stepped out of the office, reassuring herself that she would face Jae tomorrow after going _straight_ to the Director in the morning.

As she walked solemnly down the hall, a crashing brought her immediately to her senses. She slowed, catching her breath as she heard something being smashed against the floor in a room right down the hall. 

She crept nearer, trying to calm her rapidly beating heart. It’d better not be who she thought it was. 

Kiyi’s heart dropped as she saw a ragged Mako standing over a demolished cabinet, syringes littered all over the floor. 

“Mako,” She forced his name from her lips and his eyes met hers, their usual edge and passion replaced with something empty and almost...feral. 

“I—“ Mako’s eyes darted to the syringes scattered all over the floor, their contents oozing between the cracks of the tiles. “It’s not what you think,” Mako breathed, his voice hoarse and scratchy. 

“Tell me what it is, dear,” Kiyi pushed gently, her heart nearly pounding out of her chest. This wasn’t the Mako she knew. 

“I couldn’t—“ Mako choked. “I couldn’t take it. I had to take back control, Kiyi. I—“ He froze, realizing the fear radiating from her. “I’m not going to hurt you,” He breathed. 

“Where’s Dr. Jae, Mako?” Kiyi asked, taking an almost imperceptible step back out the door. 

“The shadows...” He trailed off, his breathing quickly becoming erratic. “They tied him up and knocked him out. I had nothing to do with it, Kiyi, I swear!” Mako pleaded.

“I believe you, dear,” Kiyi lied through her teeth, desperately trying to diffuse the situation. “Let’s take you back to your old room, okay?”

Mako nodded slightly, but his face suddenly turned stone cold and all the blood rushed out of his already ghastly pale cheeks. 

Kiyi hesitantly turned around as she saw Mako’s eyes fixated on something just behind her. 

She wasn’t expecting to see a shadowy form looming over her. 

Before she had the chance to scream, a tentacle wrapped around her mouth. 

“Stop!” Mako shrieked, still frozen on his feet. “ _Please!_ ” He reached out to her as the shadow tightened its grip on her throat. “I—I’ll come with you! Please, just let her go!”

The shadow dropped Kiyi from its grip, sending her to the floor in a coughing fit. Mako leapt to her side, placing an affirming hand on her back as she caught her breath. 

“I’m so sorry, Kiyi. I have to go. Please, stay safe,” He begged, standing up slowly. 

She looked up at him with wide eyes, struggling to form words. He wasn’t hallucinating. Kiyi _saw_ them. They wanted to kill her, just like they killed the orderly. 

Her heart caught in her throat. Mako hadn’t belonged in the maximum security wing. He wasn’t a killer. He wasn’t lying. They had all but tortured him undoubtedly, and for what?

Mako helped her to her feet before disappearing down the dimly lit hall and into oblivion. 

*

Bolin honestly couldn’t remember a time that he had been more furious. He was a pretty easy-going guy, didn’t let much stick to him and make him upset. 

But as he stood in front of the secretary’s desk yet again, he could practically feel his blood boiling.

“You _have_ to let me see him,” Bolin growled as the obviously unperturbed secretary continued scanning through her documents.

“You can’t visit people in maximum security, but you knew that already.” The secretary sighed. 

“Well, make an exception!” Bolin shouted, slamming his fist down on the desk. “It’s been two weeks since I’ve gotten any kind of update. I need to see him!”

“Go home, kid.” The secretary huffed, shuffling the papers around. “There’s nothing I can do here.”

“ _Please_ ,” Bolin begged, his anger fracturing, revealing the pain that blossomed beneath. 

“Listen,” The secretary sighed heavily and set the papers down. “I’m going to be honest with you, kid. Your brother did some terrible things. As much as you might want to see him,” She breathed loudly. “It might be better to just remember him as he was before.”

“No,” Bolin’s brow furrowed. “No, I _need_ to see him. You don’t understand.” He choked back a sob. 

“I feel for you, I really do. But this is just the way that it is.” She shrugged, her eyes harboring something that resembled sympathy. 

Bolin let his gaze drop to the floor, all the energy sapped from his body once again. 

It was bad enough that they hadn’t let him see his brother, but now they were just cutting off all information?

Defeated once again, Bolin made his way sluggishly out of the facility and back onto the streets of the fire nation. 

Everything hurt. Bolin barely ate. He barely slept. Korra and Asami did everything they could to cheer him up, but nothing helped. Opal had even come to see him, but nothing could chase the melancholy mood away. 

It had always been him and Mako against the world. He knew that he was surrounded by friends, but he had never felt more alone.

*

“I’m just worried about him, is all.” Asami shrugged innocently, putting the last of their groceries into the small motel room’s cabinet. 

“So am I,” Korra sighed heavily. “But that’s exactly why we can’t leave right now.”

“We’re not leaving him behind, Korra. You know that.” Asami’s lips curled into a frown as she joined her girlfriend on the dusty old couch. 

“He’s not going to come willingly.” Korra slumped further down into the seat, arms folded across her chest. 

“Bolin needs a little bit of home right now, baby. Republic City _is_ his home.” Asami cooed, laying a gentle hand on Korra’s arm. 

“He’s going to feel like he’s abandoning his brother. Tui, _I_ feel like I’m abandoning Mako.” Korra grumbled, throwing herself up off the couch. 

“You know that we aren’t.” Asami said patiently, watching Korra with soft eyes. “They won’t even let Wu in to see him anymore. There’s nothing we can do here, Korra. Not unless they let him out.”

“ _When_ ,” Korra corrected. “When they let him out.”

“ _When_ they let him out,” Asami stood up and wrapped her arms gingerly around Korra’s waist. “We’re going to take the fastest plane I’ve got to come get him, okay?”

After a moment of hesitation, Korra slowly nodded her head and pulled Asami close. 

“Bolin’s not gonna take this well.” Korra sighed, running her fingers through Asami’s hair. 

“I know,” Asami breathed, releasing them from their embrace. “But this is what Mako would want. He wouldn’t want us to sit here and wallow.”

“I know.” Korra sighed again. “But aren’t you worried that Republic City is gonna remind Bolin too much of him?”

“No more than here.” Asami shrugged. “It’ll be good to get him out of his funk. If it gets too bad, we can always come back.”

“Oh yeah, Ms. money bags here’ll cover our rooms again,” Korra scoffed lightheartedly.

“And don’t you forget it,” Asami jested back, pulling Korra close again. 

As she held her love in her arms, Korra tried desperately to push away the situation. Mako was going to get out, he just had to. He was going to get better. 

*

“You all packed and ready?” Korra called over her shoulder, shoving the last of her gear into her duffle. “Bolin?” She called over her shoulder when she got no response. 

Bolin sat on his bed, staring distantly at the wall. 

“C’mon, Bolin.” Korra put a gentle hand on his shoulder. “It’s just about time to go. Make sure you’ve got everything.” She said softly, but Bolin didn’t so much as stir. 

“I’ve got this,” Asami smiled wearily, handing her bag off to Korra. “Take this to the Satomobile, we’ll catch up.”

Korra shook her head solemnly and stacked the bags on her shoulders, trying to ignore the weight on her soul. 

If Mako were there, he would’ve carried Bolin out the door himself. 

But Mako _wasn’t_ there. 

Korra tried to shake off the thoughts as she loaded their luggage into the Satomobile, guilt weighing heavily on her chest.

Should they really be leaving? Asami made some good points, and it had been weeks since they’d heard any kind of news, but it still felt… _wrong_. Mako needed them and they couldn’t be there for him. It all felt wrong. 

Korra wasn’t expecting things to feel even _more_ wrong as she trudged back into the room. 

“Yes, I understand,” Asami spoke slowly into the phone as Bolin watched with wide eyes. “We’ll be there as soon as we can.”

The room fell into a suffocating silence as Asami set the phone down on the receiver.

“They have urgent news. They need to see us in person.” Asami said, her eyes unblinking and hazy. 

_No._

*

The numb haze over Mako’s mind lingered as he followed the shadow blindly through the halls of the maximum security ward, leaving Kiyi behind.

Had he had the capacity, he probably would’ve felt guilty for leaving in such a rush. No chance to comfort her, no chance to even try to explain what little he knew.

Instead, he only felt the weight of each footstep as he concentrated on moving forward.

The shadow slowed as they approached a wall, gesturing Mako forward. The firebender sucked in a deep breath as he drew closer, trying to ignore the nagging in his stomach.

The shadow flicked a tendril at the large painting of Caldera City on the wall, tipping it back to reveal a hole that looked like it had been chewed open by some kind of animal. It disappeared inside, beckoning for Mako to follow.

Mako took in another deep breath. Everything was happening. He knew that he should be feeling something-- _anything_ as he pulled himself through the tiny crawlspace in the wall, but it was all lost on him. He couldn’t even bring himself to feel sick as he noticed that the hole wasn’t carved out by an animal at all, but by the bloodied fingernails of a human.

He finally breached the other side of the wall, his heart beating faster despite himself. As he pushed himself out of the crawlspace and into the courtyard, he was immediately assaulted by the fresh air smacking him in the face. He nearly toppled out of the hole, filling his lungs as fast as he could with the cold night air.

The shadow replaced the loose brick that concealed the exit behind him as he fell to his knees, gripping the soft grass in his fingers.

Mako could’ve wept at the way that the blades of grass tangled around his deathly pale fingers. He could’ve shouted for joy at the twinkling stars in the sky above. He could’ve danced along to the happy song of the crickets.

The numbness still hovered over him, but he almost felt like a _human_ again.

Mako tried to steady his shaking hands as the shadow stood before him, offering a tendril to help him up.

Before he had the chance to accept, a shout cut through the stillness of the night.

“There he is!” Mako heard an orderly shout as a flashlight shone over him like a beacon.

“Bring him in!” Dr. Jae tore out from behind the other orderlies that were scouring the grounds. Mako’s blood ran cold at the animalistic rage in the doctor’s eyes.

Mako broke his attention from the group of fast-approaching staff back to the shadow, who was already long gone. Cursing under his breath, he forced himself up from his knees and willed his shaking legs to make a break for the chain-link fence.

*<

“We’re so sorry for your loss,” Director Hahn’s voice echoed in Bolin’s ears as the earthbender was entirely too stunned to react.

There was no way that he was hearing this.

There was no way that the director of the facility had called them in just to tell them that his brother was…

No.

“We assure you that he received only the finest of care here, and we’re more than happy to cover the costs of his funeral,” The Director continued stiffly.

The word funeral is really what sent Bolin over the edge.

He hadn’t seen his brother in _months_. And now his brother was _dead_.

He couldn’t help the ragged sobs escaping his throat. He couldn’t help the way that his face buried itself into his shaking hands. He couldn’t help but feel so helpless.

No one could even comfort him in the moment. Shock ran through the room.

“Wh—what happened?” Korra asked with a quivering lip. She wasn’t sure she wanted to know. But she wasn’t sure she could live _without_ knowing.

“Unfortunately,” Director Hahn sighed heavily. “Mako took his own life. It’s not uncommon, much to our dismay. We do our very best to help those in our care, but some things are just…out of our control.”

Asami wailed at Korra’s side. Mako…he…

“Can we see him?” Korra sniffled, pulling Asami close.

“I’m afraid not. The paperwork he signed at his arrival clearly states that his body be promptly sent to the crematorium. I’m so sorry.” Director Hahn folded his hands on his desk once again.

Bolin couldn’t hear anything aside from the blood rushing through his ears. This wasn’t happening. It just wasn’t. He _had_ to be able to see his brother again. This was all just some fucked up dream that he couldn’t escape. It wasn’t real. It just wasn’t.

It felt like an eternity before they were gently ushered out of the director’s office. Bolin walked like a zombie through the hall, Asami and Korra at his sides, clinging to him supportively.

It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered.

Mako was gone and nothing mattered.

His brain was filled with static as they turned another corner towards the entrance. What was he going to do? He didn’t know how to do this without his big brother at his side.

He almost didn’t notice when someone called his name from the shadows.

With blurry and tear-filled eyes, he turned to see an elderly woman, obviously shaken, standing in the corner.

“You _are_ Bolin, right?” She asked, her eyes darting up and down the hallway.

Bolin managed a slight nod.

“Come with me,” She disappeared down the hall.

Bolin, Korra, and Asami exchanged worried glances before following the lady down the hallways and into a courtyard, complete with a turtleduck pond.

“Please, sit.” She motioned at the ground.

“Ma’am, I’m sorry, I just really think we should be going—” Korra protested hesitantly before the woman put up a hand to silence her.

“Please,” She motioned to the ground, and the three hesitantly took a seat.

Bolin couldn’t help but stare at the turtleducks swimming around gleefully in their small pond. Memories of Mako talking about them as he sat across from him, playing Pai Cho in the ward came rushing back. He had hated to see his brother in the facility like that back then, but he would give _anything_ to see him back there.

“What’s the about?” Asami sniffled, rubbing her red-rimmed eyes.

The elderly woman took one last look around their surroundings before sitting down beside them.

“My name is Kiyi,” She said breathlessly. “This is about your brother. He’s _alive_.”

*

Mako made a mad-dash for the chain-link fence, his rubbery legs taking him away as fast as they could. He could hear the rabid shouts behind him, but at this moment—he really couldn’t give a shit.

As freedom stood before him, blocked only by a few yards and some twisted metal, he couldn’t help but notice the way his heart beat a little faster. The way that his lungs filled with the fresh air.

He could see the shadow watching him from just beyond the fence. His legs moved a little faster when it beckoned to him, backing away from the fence and just out of view.

Mako breathed in deep, trying to steady his heart that beat with a new purposeful intensity. 

The shouts behind him grew louder as he threw his body at the fence, making quick work of scaling it. In his prime, he would’ve cleared it in a matter of seconds. Now, his legs caught and wobbled, but he managed to toss himself over the top before the orderlies ever stood a chance to catch him.

He took off into the woods, his lungs screaming for mercy. He didn’t care. As he disappeared into the thickets of the dense foliage outside of the facility, as the shouts behind him grew dimmer, he focused on the way that his feet hit the ground. The way the trees danced lazily in the breeze. He was _free_.

What he hadn’t focused on was the small dart that shot into his neck, making him skid to a stop as he yanked it out.

A tranq dart. 

He didn’t even have time to curse under his breath before his legs folded underneath him and the world went dark.


	13. Chapter 13

“Bolin,” Korra grabbed the pacing Earthbender’s arm before he could take another step. “Listen, walking around in circles isn’t going to solve anything, okay? So let’s take a break before you wear a hole in the ground.”

Bolin’s lips furrowed into a pout as he snatched a bit of the earth below himself, sinking himself into it.

“Ha, ha. Very funny,” Korra rolled her eyes and couldn’t help but suppress a small smirk. “But seriously, she’s going to be here any minute. Just try to put your mind at ease in the meantime.”

“What if she’s lying, Korra?” Bolin threw his hands out to his sides. “What if she doesn’t really know what happened? What if she’s just trying to get our hopes up?”

“What would she have to gain from doing that?” Asami asked gently from her seat on the couch. 

“I don’t know, some sick mind-game?” Bolin protested, sighing heavily and flopping himself down on the armchair. 

“No, Asami’s right,” Korra breathed, taking a seat next to her girlfriend and wrapping an arm around her. “She doesn’t have any reason to trick us. I just hope she has enough information to help us get him home.”

The trio sat in silence, the events of the past few days weighing heavily on their hearts. Kiyi had agreed to meet with them back in their hotel room to give them all of the details that she had on the situation.

It made Bolin sick to his stomach when he thought about why she couldn’t just tell them out in the courtyard that day.

They were pulled from their thoughts by a soft knock on the door. Bolin all but knocked it down himself as he rushed to swing it open.

Kiyi walked inside gracefully, yet solemnly, taking a seat on the armchair without a word.

Bolin followed her like a puppy, sitting down cross-legged on the floor in front of her, waiting with wide eyes to open her mouth.

“Well,” Kiyi finally cleared her throat. Glassy tears were already forming in her weathered eyes. “I suppose I should more formally introduce myself,” She breathed, holding back the tears. “I’m Kiyi. I was your brother’s attending therapist until...until the incident,” She explained, sniffling. Asami wordlessly handed her a tissue.

“That’s when he was taken into the high-security part of the facility,” Korra filled in the blanks for her as she tried to regain her composure.

“I just...I want to apologize to all of you,” Kiyi sobbed, and Bolin scooted forward and took her wrinkled hand in his own. “I failed him. I should’ve...I should’ve,”

“Kiyi,” Bolin said softly, rubbing small circles on the back of her hand. “Please, just tell me what happened.”

“You’re right,” She sniffled, clearing her throat once again. “Your brother was--was suffering from hallucinations of these ‘shadow figures’,” She continued, and Bolin nodded along reassuringly. “But you don’t see other people’s hallucinations with your own two eyes,” She broke down once again and Bolin felt his heart stop.

“What are you saying?” Korra breathed, holding tight to Asami’s waist. 

“I can’t say for sure, but I don’t think that all of Mako’s encounters were hallucinations,” She rubbed her eyes with the tissue, trying to stop herself from openly sobbing. “The night he escaped one of the figures attacked me,”

“Escaped?” Bolin asked, and everything around him seemed to disappear. His brother…

Through tears and heartache, Kiyi explained how she had found their friend, lost to himself and the world, when she had been attacked by the shadow. How he disappeared down the hall that night.

“I’m so sorry,” She sobbed into her hands. “I failed him, and I failed all of you. I can’t even _imagine_ \--”

“Kiyi,” Bolin took her hand again and gripped it tightly. “Is my brother _alive_?”

“Yes.”

That was all Bolin needed to send him into another bout of sobs.

*

Things felt fuzzy.

Mako was used to fuzzy by now.

But this was...a _different_ kind of fuzzy. 

He could start to feel his fingers and toes again, but something was just...not right.

He couldn’t quite clear the fog that circled his mind, but he could tell that this time it wasn’t permanent. Not like before…

“Mako? Are you awake?” An unfamiliar voice called out to him and his eyes shot open.

He sat up in a frenzy, splashing water all over the room. Was he...in a bathtub?

“Wh--” His voice was scratchy and dry.

“Relax,” A firm but gentle hand pushed his body back under the water, leaving only his head exposed. “You’re still coming back around. Try not to panic.”

“Where the fuck am I?” He managed to choke out, fighting every urge in his body to jump up and punch his way out. His limbs still felt heavy and foreign, but not nearly the way they had before.

“You’re safe, Mako.” The voice attempted to soothe him.

“Who the fuck are you?!” Mako felt his heart pound against his chest as he tried to make heads or tails of his surroundings. 

He seemed to be underground, based on the way he couldn’t feel Agni’s warmth beneath his skin. He could make out the tub he was in now, filled with a swirling and bright water. A waterbender sat by his side, pulling at the waves.

“We’re here to help you, Mako. I am Tah-Lee.” The voice replied gently. “I’m a friend.”

Tah-Lee made his way around the tub to face Mako. His dark hair hung low on his shoulders, his sharp green eyes prying into Mako’s soul.

“Please,” Mako choked out, trying desperately to get a hold of reality. “Where am I?”

“All in good time, Mako. All in good time.” He whispered and Mako could feel the tug of unconsciousness pulling him back under. He tried to fight it, but the blissful nothingness returned. 

*

“How do we know we can trust her?” Asami asked as Bolin paced the floor of their hotel room. 

“It’s not like we have any other option,” Korra shrugged, fiddling nervously with the metal bracelet around her wrist. “He’s out there, and this is our only lead.” 

“How do we know she’s telling the truth?” Asami pried gently with sad eyes. 

“Because she is!” Bolin stopped abruptly and shouted. “I know he’s still alive. I just _know_ it!”

“Okay,” Asami continued gently. “Okay. I want to believe her too, I really do,” she paused, tears welling in her eyes. “But I think we should be prepared in case—“

“Kiyi saw him hop the fence with her own eyes! Why would she lie?!” Bolin asked, throwing his hands out to his sides.

“We’ll know more when the airbenders get here,” Korra stepped in abruptly. “If anyone can track him down, it’s them. Just because Naga couldn’t find his scent doesn’t mean—“ She bit her lip, realizing what she was saying. 

“You’re right,” Asami draped her arms reassuringly over her girlfriend’s shoulders. “We don’t know anything yet. We’ll just have to be patient.”

Bolin sighed and stared at the small cutting of Mako’s scarf that Kiyi had returned to them. 

He would find his brother. No matter what.

*

Mako felt himself coming back around in what felt like a bed this time. A nice, cushy bed. 

His eyes cracked open and he found himself in a dark room, decorated neatly from floor to ceiling with various pieces from the different nations. 

Fire nation paintings of dragons stood bright against the gentle waves of the water nation paintings. 

Mako rubbed his eyes blearily. The feeling had returned mostly to his limbs, much to his delight. The fog was wearing off, his thoughts losing their cloudiness. 

Still, something felt… _wrong_. 

He shot up in his bed when he realized. 

Something _was_ wrong. 

The last thing he remembered he was running to freedom, and now he was deep underground in a strange place. 

“Mako?” A soft voice called from behind the closed door, and his heart raced. 

What was going on? Where was he?

The door creaked open and Mako was on high alert. 

“You awake?” The voice called again, with some eerie familiarity in its tone. 

Mako clenched the blankets on the bed with white knuckles as a head peered through the small crack in the doorway. 

“It’s Tah-Lee. Not sure if you remember me,” He said, small yet firmly. “We met briefly the other night.” Tah-Lee stepped inside, shutting the door softly behind him. 

Mako rubbed his head as fragmented memories returned. The other night? How long had he been out?

“Anyway,” Tah-Lee continued, drawing closer to the bed. “I’m sure you have just about a _million_ questions. I’m here to help.” 

“Who are you?” Mako snarled, his voice rough and tearing at his throat. 

“I’m the one that rescued you, Mako.” Tah-Lee smiled, folding his hands neatly against his back. 

“Rescued me?” Mako rubbed the back of his head, as if trying to shake the memories out of it. He narrowed his eyes, remembering the haze of that night that he made his great escape. The shadow that set him free. 

“You’re one of them.” He said plainly, gauging the man for some sense of emotion. 

“One of ‘them’, yes,” Tah-Lee chuckled lightly, but Mako’s muscles only tensed. “I am part of an organization here, the one that took you in. We are the Kemurikage.” 

Mako nearly jumped out of his skin. Why hadn’t he thought of that before? The psychotic group that Princess Azula once led against Lord Zuko? Of course they had been after him. Of _course_ they were after Korra. 

“We aren’t what you think, Mako.” Tah-Lee continued, sensing the reservation from Mako. “We’ve changed much since the legends I’m sure you’ve heard. We removed Princess Azula from our ranks long ago, and have since devoted ourselves to protecting the order of the world.”

“So, a bootleg White Lotus.” Mako grumbled.

Tah-Lee let out a hearty laugh, catching Mako completely by surprise.

“Yes, I suppose you could say that.” Tah-Lee chuckled. “Do you want to take a look around the facility? I’d be happy to give you the tour.”

Mako hesitantly nodded his head. He wanted nothing to do with this. He didn’t want to be here for even another second. He wanted to go home. He wanted to see his brother again.

But he knew that he had to play their game. He had to scope out the place and find his way out.

Tah-Lee led him out into the maze of hallways, past what seemed to be barracks, a kitchen, and the healing room that he remembered hazily.

“You see, we’ve got quite the setup down here.” Tah-Lee explained as they made their way to the common room. “Everything you could ever need!”

“Except an exit,” Mako remarked, scanning the seemingly happy faces of each of the inhabitants they passed. 

“Mako,” Tah-Lee stopped abruptly, turning quickly on his heel to face the young firebender. “You aren’t a prisoner here. You still have some drugs in your system that we’d love to continue to help you flush out, but you’re welcome to leave at any time.”

Mako felt his heart unclench the tiniest amount.

“However,” Mako’s breath caught in his throat once again as Tah-Lee continued. “There are a few things we should talk about first.”

He continued leading a timid Mako to the common room. He pulled out a seat for the younger man at one of the empty tables. Mako wordlessly took a seat, his heart threatening to beat out of his chest.

“Your friends are in danger, Mako.” Tah-Lee sighed, his eyes empathetic. “That’s why we’ve been following you around.”

“And why you killed an orderly?” Mako asked, his mouth drier than the heart of the Fire Nation.

“Yes,” Tah-Lee smiled sympathetically. “I’m sure that you remember Tokuga.”

Mako’s heart sank even further. Typically, he’d be overjoyed that his hunch was correct. But now? He couldn’t think of anything worse.

“He’s making a comeback, in a big way,” Tah-Lee continued. “Our agents have been tracking him, and I’m sorry to say that he’s gathering an army that could rival even the United Forces.” Tah-Lee paused, watching Mako expectantly, but received only wide and skeptical eyes in reply. “That orderly in the care facility was one of his agents, there to take you out. I’m so sorry the situation turned so fast, but we had to do everything that we could to protect you.”

“What about Kupo?” Mako’s voice scratched out. 

“He’s one of ours. Trying to protect you from Tokuga’s wretched girl in the facility. As soon as we found out she was a plant, we sent Kupo to take care of her.”

“So then why…” Mako gulped. “Why was he so afraid of me? Why didn’t he just _tell_ me what he was doing?”

“Mako,” Tah-Lee leaned forward to comfort the younger man. “We couldn’t reveal to you who and what we were. It would’ve put you in far more danger. If Tokuga’s army caught wind that you knew about us? The consequences would be swift and _catastrophic_.”

“So why now? Why break me out?” Mako folded his arms across his chest, pushing away all of the feelings he had in favor of gathering information. 

“We could tell you were slipping away. And that awful Dr. Jae…. well, we just couldn’t bear to watch you suffer anymore.” Tah-Lee grimaced solemnly. 

“But you brought me here instead of letting me go.” Mako grumbled, his muscles tightening. 

“We had to help get that poison out of your veins, Mako. You were so heavily sedated in that facility, there’s no way that you could’ve made it back to Republic City without the care facility finding you.” He explained, folding his hands neatly onto his lap. 

“I need to go back,” Mako’s gaze steeled, the awful pit in his stomach growing as he thought about his baby brother. What had they told him? Did he even know his brother was free?

“Mako,” Tah-Lee sighed with sad eyes. “Of course you have the choice to leave. But you should know that by returning to them, you’re going to be putting them in grave danger.” 

Mako simply raised an eyebrow in response.

“Despite our best efforts, Tokuga knows now. He knows that you’re under our protection. There’s no other way that we could’ve saved you from the facility.” Tah-Lee said sympathetically, looking deep into Mako’s eyes.

Mako turned away. This wasn’t happening. This wasn’t real. He was just hallucinating. He _had_ to be.

“We’re doing everything that we can to get you reunited with your friends,” Tah-Lee ensured him gently. “But...I would be remiss if I didn’t ask you for assistance.”

Mako’s head snapped in Tah-Lee's direction. 

“Mako, it’s no secret that you’re an incredibly powerful bender,” Tah-Lee smiled reassuringly. “We heard all about what you did against Kuvira’s bot. That takes an absurd amount of skill!”

Mako unconsciously gripped his scarred arm.

“If you’re willing, of course, we would be honored to have your assistance to take Tokuga down. For good.” Tah-Lee continued, ignoring the anxiety radiating from Mako’s side of the table. “It would mean that you would get to see your friends sooner.”

Mako paused, digging his fingernails into his charred skin.

“I’ll do it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Wow_ , I absolutely cannot _believe_ the insane amount of support that y'all have given me here!!!! I seriously appreciate all of it! Again, I'm sorry that it took me so long to update, fingers crossed that I'm able to update more regularly from now on! 
> 
> Thank you for all of your incredibly kind comments!!! They really make my day!
> 
> Let me know what you think of the newest chapters, and I'll see you soon for the next update! <3


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